Bear with me, I'm drunk, and it's only 3:30 here. This is a recipe that's been in the family for as long as I can remember and it's always a big hit at parties. I made a double batch this morning and expect it to be gone by tonight.
1 package philly cream cheese
1/2 cup mayo
2 tbs ketchup
3 tbs catalina dressing
1/2 tsp lemon juice
8 oz crab meat
Blend all ingredients except crab meat together until smooth, then add crab. Serve with chips and liquor.