Texas humor

[RonE]

For those of you who have lived in TX, you’ll understand this. If you
haven’t – this may give you some insight! And if you’re thinking of
moving or visiting there, I’m thinking this may be a helpful tip for
you!

One day, a very gentle Texas lady was driving across a high bridge in
Austin.

As she neared the top of the bridge, she noticed a young man fixin’ to
jump. ("fixin" in Texas means: has the means or abilities to take
action)

She stopped her car, rolled down the window and said,"Please don't
jump! Think of your dear mother and father."

He replied, "My mom and dad are both dead; I'm going to jump."

She said, "Well, think of your sweet wife and precious children."

He replied, "I'm not married, and I don't have any kids."

She said, "Well, then you just remember the Alamo."

He replied,'What's the Alamo?''

She replied, "Well, bless your heart! You just go ahead and jump you
little Yankee Democrat Bastard. You’re holding up traffic!”

[3geese4me]

I will keep this in mind.

[Pintail]

[aunt betty]

There were five paratroopers on a mission. It was time to.jump.

The first one, an Englishman yelled "long live the queen" and jumped.

The Frenchman yelled "viva la France" and jumped.

The Indian yelled "Geronimo" and jumped.

The Texan yelled "remember the Alamo" and pushed the Mexican out the door, then jumped.

[R. Chapman]

There were five paratroopers on a mission. It was time to.jump.

The first one, an Englishman yelled "long live the queen" and jumped.

The Frenchman yelled "viva la France" and jumped.

The Indian yelled "Geronimo" and jumped.

The Texan yelled "remember the Alamo" and pushed the Mexican out the door, then jumped.