The Offical WFF BS Thread!

[R. Chapman]

Might have found a stepside box for a really good price.

[Olly]

Might have found a stepside box for a really good price.

Wtf do you want with a step side? Worthless.

[Bulldog0156]

I hate looking for a new place to live.

[R. Chapman]

Might have found a stepside box for a really good price.

Wtf do you want with a step side? Worthless.

It's a half ton truck. I want some looks. And shit for just going up in the MTNs it'll be fine.

[Throbbin Rods]

Best Craigslist ad ever...so, so wrong....but too funny not to share:

For sale: one early 80’s Craftsman riding lawn mower with an 11 horse power engine and 30″ mowing deck. Bottom line, this beast is a sick ride! In fact, I’d even say it’s the El Camino of yard whips. Just take a look at those sweet ass rims. So dope they look rented. ‪#‎arethosedubs‬?

Wait, is that a chicken in the background? Damn straight! Because the Craftsman riding lawn mower was considered the barnyard pimp of its day. Get yer yerrd on, fool!

Is it fast? Ever heard of old school 3 on the tree? Well, this whip’s got 8 on the hip. That’s right, 8 screamin’ gears of merciless speed! Need to mow that $h!t Richard petty style? No problem. Snappin’ necks and mowin’ decks, homie…

Just look at this beast. It even has the original factory pin striping. This NASCAR style speed demon will look quick just sitting in your driveway. Neighbors be like “SMH with envy.” Don’t dare put this baby in the shed. She deserves the garage. ‪#‎nooneputsbabyinthecorner‬

Does it run, you ask? HELLS YEAH! Like a pack of Kenyans on crystal meth! This bad boy just got a carburetor rebuild, new seals all the way around and a brand new battery installed. Turns over quicker than your prom date. And you don’t even need to buy it wine coolers.

Don’t get me started on the mowing deck! 30 full inches of precision slicin’ and dicin’. Cuts better than Edward Scissor Hands and Lorena Bobbit in a knife fight. And this blade runner has 8 cutting heights! Go full Brazilian with a 1 inch cut, or bring your field of dreams up to 8 inches, 1970’s style; your choice. All I’m sayin’ is this mo-fo fades a lawn better than a set of hair clippers at Fantastic Sams. Whaaaa?

But can I mow with it at night, you ask? Who hasn’t awoken at O’dark:30 to mow their lawn black ops style? No problem with this night rider. It has a fully functioning head light, Michael. ‪#‎Getyerdarkon‬

Pretty sure this man-ride is the luxury model. It’s equipped with a plush pleather spring ride seat for those Brokeback yards, 10 inch Kung Fu grip steering wheel and rubberized foot pads. Ain’t no footloose goin’ on up in here. Safety first, homies!

You: So how much is this Kentucky bluegrass love machine?
Me: Just $500.°°.
You: Wait, what?
Me: That’s right, you heard me, only $500 greenbacks.
The world: How is that possible?
Me: my family and I have enjoyed using this cutting-deck of dope-ness since it’s immaculate inception back in the 80’s. Can you say one owner? Yup!

It’s time this black pearl set sail and find another crew to roll with. It’s faded many lawns in its day and is looking for the greener grass on your side of the fence.

Don’t wait to call or you’ll be tellin’ stories about the one that got away for the rest of your life, or call me now and become the lawn jockey you always dreamed to be.

No texts, please. I need to hear your voice and know that this family pet is going to a 100% full blooded american. ‪#‎Merica‬

[The Duck Hammer]

Read one about a 70s or 80s Suburban that was better.

[The Duck Hammer]

1978 Chevy dually Suburban

Stop. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath, and feast your eyes on the most wicked pieces of American Badass you have ever seen in your life. I will tell you right now that if you are a Starbucks drinking environmentalist, if your other car is a Prius, or a solar powered liberal mobile, if you think we are all safer if nobody owned a handgun, or if you have used the adjective adorable at all today, then you need to close this window and look for another vehicle. (And grow a pair) If you are a beer drinking, red blooded American, that has a beard, Chews tobacco, dreams of wrestling an Alaskan grizzly bear, and wants the most bad ass truck on the road, then keep reading. This truck is like the deadliest catch. . . without the crabs.

Now that I have your attention, you need to ask yourself one question. Are you ready for a truck with this much testosterone? Well, are you? Just to let you know, the sheer presence of this Suburban is enough to make Chuck Norris pee his pants. Take a look at these pictures. Yes, it is staring back at you. Now go change your underwear and continue reading. What my friend is more reliable than an American 454 big block nuclear power plant, with a carburetor the size of Rosanne Arnold's big ass? Nothing can be more reliable, because it is backed by the great turbo 400. What is cooler that having a transmission with the designation of turbo in front of it?!?! Fuel mileage you ask? If you are concerned about fuel mileage, check your phone, because your boyfriend is on the other end of the line. Air conditioning?!?! Yeah, front and rear but who needs it? Roll all four windows down, breath some fresh air, and let the wind blow through your beard.

There is nothing this Suburban cannot do. Is that a dually 14bolt corporate axle you ask? Yes sir, along with the bullet proof Dana 60. So ask yourself. When was the last time you had a vehicle that could do all of the following: tow a John Deer 8270R, bass boat, duck boat, and a trailer full of walrus meat. . .. At the same time? Burbzilla can do it. It will do while hauling five of your beer drinking buddies, and all of their gear, with a couple of dogs in the back. When you get back, open all the doors, fire up your gas powered pressure washer and let her rip. This juggernaut has drain holes in it so the blood of the buffalo you just killed can run out. That's right, it has a no frills, no bs interior. The custom made front and rear seat covers are weather proof, and the carpet has been removed. What else is this behemoth capable of? Unless you are completely blind or slightly retarded you have probably noticed that it is a 4 wheel drive vehicle. I have been told from the previous owner that it once literally traveled to hell and back. Lucifer himself was left crying like a pansy.

Pull up a chair and read this closing paragraph. These wheels are slightly used. When I say slightly, I warn you a bit of caution, for what you are about to read is about as serious as it gets. The tire and wheel package was removed from a real military HUMVEE. These 36 inch tires wrapped around DOT legal bead-lock wheels were carrying American soldiers through enemy territory when a grenade immobilized the HUMVEE. The soldiers and HUMVEE were saved with an airstrike from good ole uncle sam. These tires under this Suburban have rolled American soldiers through enemy territory, and saved their lives. Gentleman, if I had been born with tear ducts, I'd probably use them right now. True story. Now if you can tell me what is more American than this piece of grit iron American History, you sir are a man among men.
I will have to give a word of caution to whomever may purchase this steel juggernaut that the following will happen:

• Your beard will grow longer
• You will only eat meat
• You will get a T-rex for a pet
• You may start to think you are a lumberjack
• You will wipe your ass with sandpaper
• Brush your teeth with a wire brush
• Your wife will be hotter
• You will get women on the side
• Your wife will keep your beer fridge fully stocked
• You will have sex with your wife in the garage
• You will make more money
• You will want to hunt and kill every animal known to man
• George bush will be your neighbor
• You will fill your garage with Snap On tools
• You will learn to weld
• You will listen to nothing but Waylon Jennings
• You will get a second freezer to keep you game meat and fish
• You will dip Copenhagen snuff
• You will keep a .45 on you at all times
• People will want to be you
If you can handle this all American chariot of the free world. Please respond. If not, your yoga instructor is calling.
Please note, I will not sell to LSU fans. Go Rebels.

[Olly]

Funny in a sad kind of way.

[The Duck Hammer]

Tractor just ran out of diesel while I was mowing the ditch right next to the shoulder of the highway. Oops.

[SpinnerMan]

Funny in a sad kind of way.

What I do not get is the people that put their faith in the promise of politicians.

Social Security - backed solely by the promise of politicians
Government pensions - a large chunk is backed by the promise of politicians

Politicians are universal viewed as among the least trustworthy people, but damned if most people don't think that their politician is the exception. I just do not get it.

But don't worry, it no longer matters what the people want. It no longer matters what they legislature enacts into law. The only thing that matters is what at least 5 political appointees to the Supreme Court say the law should be. Hey that's what they really really meant, not what they wrote, debated, and passed into law. After all, everybody knows that politicians are too fucking stupid to be trusted with writing our laws. That takes the editors at the Supreme Court to tell us and them what they really meant and no need to bother with the formality of going back and actually doing it correctly.

[The Duck Hammer]

Guess you aren't happy with the latest rulings either.

[SpinnerMan]

Guess you aren't happy with the latest rulings either.

It's just insane.

The scary part is how few people even comprehend that this could be an issue.

Now, we don't have to do anything to change the law. Just let the lawyers tell us what it is.

[The Duck Hammer]

I agree.

[NuffDaddy]

Sold my boat. Now it's time to get to work on the quad toon

[Olly]

Sold my boat. Now it's time to get to work on the quad toon

Do a better job than Capt and post some pictures!

[NuffDaddy]

Sold my boat. Now it's time to get to work on the quad toon

Do a better job than Capt and post some pictures!

Will do. Trailer is first thing.

[The Duck Hammer]

Good luck with the build

[NuffDaddy]

Good luck with the build

Thanks. Gonna need it

[triplecurl]

Hey guys, how's it going?

Been checking in from time to time, but haven't posted in a long while.

[R. Chapman]

Going to get a vinyl wrap job on the truck. Hell of a lot cheaper than a paint job.

[The Duck Hammer]

Going to get a vinyl wrap job on the truck. Hell of a lot cheaper than a paint job.

Advertising for Stu?

[NuffDaddy]

Should get Olly to sponsor a full WFF wrap!!

[Olly]

Should get Olly to sponsor a full WFF wrap!!

I'll trade him a guided elk hunt for a WFF wrap!

[Goldfish]

Got it all finished up

uploadfromtaptalk1435794718742.jpg

Cute Rex

[R. Chapman]

Haha, look more like this:

ImageUploadedByTapatalk1435795097.852090.jpg

But with black and grey in color, maybe a little white.

[Bad17]

Haha, look more like this:

ImageUploadedByTapatalk1435795097.852090.jpg

But with black and grey in color, maybe a little white.

Are you gonna make it look permanently dirty so you can ride around and think you are an off road bad ass and try to impress girls.

Are you gonna put extendable mirrors on it so you can ride around hauling ghost trailers.

[Olly]

Haha, look more like this:

ImageUploadedByTapatalk1435795097.852090.jpg

But with black and grey in color, maybe a little white.

Are you gonna make it look permanently dirty so you can ride around and think you are an off road bad ass and try to impress girls.

Are you gonna put extendable mirrors on it so you can ride around hauling ghost trailers.

They don't make flip up mirrors for 85 step sides

[Bad17]

Haha, look more like this:

ImageUploadedByTapatalk1435795097.852090.jpg

But with black and grey in color, maybe a little white.

Are you gonna make it look permanently dirty so you can ride around and think you are an off road bad ass and try to impress girls.

Are you gonna put extendable mirrors on it so you can ride around hauling ghost trailers.

They don't make flip up mirrors for 85 step sides

They make anything for anything. It only takes time and money.

[Olly]

Haha, look more like this:

ImageUploadedByTapatalk1435795097.852090.jpg

But with black and grey in color, maybe a little white.

Are you gonna make it look permanently dirty so you can ride around and think you are an off road bad ass and try to impress girls.

Are you gonna put extendable mirrors on it so you can ride around hauling ghost trailers.

They don't make flip up mirrors for 85 step sides

They make anything for anything. It only takes time and money.

You're forgetting the most important part. A public need/desire for the product. No one is going to buy $300 tow mirrors for a 80's 1/2 ton gas truck. So no one will ever make them.

[Bad17]

Haha, look more like this:

ImageUploadedByTapatalk1435795097.852090.jpg

But with black and grey in color, maybe a little white.

Are you gonna make it look permanently dirty so you can ride around and think you are an off road bad ass and try to impress girls.

Are you gonna put extendable mirrors on it so you can ride around hauling ghost trailers.

They don't make flip up mirrors for 85 step sides

They make anything for anything. It only takes time and money.

You're forgetting the most important part. A public need/desire for the product. No one is going to buy $300 tow mirrors for a 80's 1/2 ton gas truck. So no one will ever make them.

I would bet that someone somewhere has had a set made. Just cause you don't see the logic in it doesn't mean that it isn't something someone would love to have on their truck