Need to Vent

[DeadEye_Dan]

Ok. My turn.

My brothers in law had an opportunity last fall to buy 80 acres with a modest house on it near the farm and the rest of the family. Roughly half of the land is tillable and the 40 with the house is all wooded.

My wife and I have been considering buying a weekend place and if we could find the right piece with some land to hunt and generally dick off on we would pull the trigger - ideally it would be near family because we all get along generally well, vacation together, etc. Its been a long time goal of mine to own a small chunk of the earth.

So in passing conversation a month or so ago my brother in law says "I'm not sure what we are going to do with that house and land over there. We had a lease on the tillable acreage and put a well and irrigation pivot on it, then when she was going to lose it we bought it from the bank for a song and dance to protect the investment - what am I going to do with the house and woods??"

This is where I fucked up: "we've been thinking about buying a place. What are you looking to get out of it?"

So we've been in casual conversation on and off for the past month and Saturday night we were discussing it and he says "I guess I'd be happy if we could carve off that wooded 40 with the house and sell it for what we paid for the whole thing"

We've already discussed what they paid for it. He called me for advice before they did it. They call me all the time with questions about marketing strategies, interest rate questions, commodity pricing, the same thing I charge my customers for - they get for free.

I did some quick math in my head and said - "that seems fair. Let's do it".

It's still a good deal for us, and they get an irrigated 40 for basically $0.

He agreed and we started talking about having the family attorney draw up a sales agreement and having a survey done for easements, deed work, etc.

Then - I get this text message Monday morning: "Hey, was thinking about that land thing, and I think we should get an appraisal"

Which I interpreted as: "I think it's worth more than what I already agreed to sell it to you for"

I replied: Ok.



WTF? Irrigated dirt sells for $3-3,200/acre in that area. By my math that's $120,000 net on a piece of shit ground you didn't even want. Or put another way 175% return on your investment in 1 year.

I'm a capitalist. Make as much as you can, that's always my standard advice.
But the point you make a deal with someone?? That's it. You live with the deal you made.

If he comes back and asks for 1 fucking red cent more than the deal we already made, I'm going to send him a bill the next time we discuss commodities and marketing strategies -

Dammit. What happened to two men reaching an agreement and honoring it???

[assateague]

Aaaaand the hits just keep on coming.


Just got off the phone with the wife. One of the owners of a company at this class/seminar thing she's at offered her a job. She said no, because she would have had to travel Monday-Wednesday every week.


When she told me they offered her a full time position at $32 an hour with a full benefits package, I think she interpreted my stunned silence as a divorce request.


This day can't be over soon enough. Fuck.

[assateague]

Ok. My turn.

My brothers in law had an opportunity last fall to buy 80 acres with a modest house on it near the farm and the rest of the family. Roughly half of the land is tillable and the 40 with the house is all wooded.

My wife and I have been considering buying a weekend place and if we could find the right piece with some land to hunt and generally dick off on we would pull the trigger - ideally it would be near family because we all get along generally well, vacation together, etc. Its been a long time goal of mine to own a small chunk of the earth.

So in passing conversation a month or so ago my brother in law says "I'm not sure what we are going to do with that house and land over there. We had a lease on the tillable acreage and put a well and irrigation pivot on it, then when she was going to lose it we bought it from the bank for a song and dance to protect the investment - what am I going to do with the house and woods??"

This is where I fucked up: "we've been thinking about buying a place. What are you looking to get out of it?"

So we've been in casual conversation on and off for the past month and Saturday night we were discussing it and he says "I guess I'd be happy if we could carve off that wooded 40 with the house and sell it for what we paid for the whole thing"

We've already discussed what they paid for it. He called me for advice before they did it. They call me all the time with questions about marketing strategies, interest rate questions, commodity pricing, the same thing I charge my customers for - they get for free.

I did some quick math in my head and said - "that seems fair. Let's do it".

It's still a good deal for us, and they get an irrigated 40 for basically $0.

He agreed and we started talking about having the family attorney draw up a sales agreement and having a survey done for easements, deed work, etc.

Then - I get this text message Monday morning: "Hey, was thinking about that land thing, and I think we should get an appraisal"

Which I interpreted as: "I think it's worth more than what I already agreed to sell it to you for"

I replied: Ok.



WTF? Irrigated dirt sells for $3-3,200/acre in that area. By my math that's $120,000 net on a piece of shit ground you didn't even want. Or put another way 175% return on your investment in 1 year.

I'm a capitalist. Make as much as you can, that's always my standard advice.
But the point you make a deal with someone?? That's it. You live with the deal you made.

If he comes back and asks for 1 fucking red cent more than the deal we already made, I'm going to send him a bill the next time we discuss commodities and marketing strategies -

Dammit. What happened to two men reaching an agreement and honoring it???

This is why I simply don't like family. I trust my friends- hell, even internet friends I've never met- about 4.5 times as much as I trust my family.

[jehler]

you don't want my advice on interacting with the father in law

i understand the wife's position, travel for work sucks but that aint bad coin, hell of a lot more than i've made in the last 6 years

[jehler]

Dammit. What happened to two men reaching an agreement and honoring it???

that only works when there is two men in the agreement, wearing big boy pants a man it does not make

[assateague]

I haven't even spoken to my own mother in over 4 years, aside from the occasional cussing. I'm not sure why he thinks he's special.

[DeadEye_Dan]

Dammit. What happened to two men reaching an agreement and honoring it???

that only works when there is two men in the agreement, wearing big boy pants a man it does not make

Bingo

[Redbeard]

That reminds me, Red, did you tell the soccer coach what you thought about the situation?

which situation? The high priced soccer team or the asshole parents?

Regarding the coach, Maggie decided not to go with the traveling team next year. Told her she could get back into gymnastics for a fraction of the cost and she jumped on it

As for the parents, they really annoy the hell outta me and I was close to telling em all to kiss my ass. Then I decided, who am I to judge?

[assateague]

A level-headed, sane man with life experience. Maybe "judge" is the wrong word, but "offer your opinion" is certainly fine by me.


I say we all start a WFF compound. We would probably rule a sizable chunk of the world within 12 years. At the very least, we would all sit back in folding lawn chairs with looks of smug satisfaction, with well-raised kids, sipping beers while watching the rest of the world collapse around us. I'm only half kidding anymore.

[(MT)Montanafowler]

A level-headed, sane man with life experience. Maybe "judge" is the wrong word, but "offer your opinion" is certainly fine by me.


I say we all start a WFF compound. We would probably rule a sizable chunk of the world within 12 years. At the very least, we would all sit back in folding lawn chairs with looks of smug satisfaction, with well-raised kids, sipping beers while watching the rest of the world collapse around us. I'm only half kidding anymore.

shit, count me in

[Flightstopper]

A level-headed, sane man with life experience. Maybe "judge" is the wrong word, but "offer your opinion" is certainly fine by me.


I say we all start a WFF compound. We would probably rule a sizable chunk of the world within 12 years. At the very least, we would all sit back in folding lawn chairs with looks of smug satisfaction, with well-raised kids, sipping beers while watching the rest of the world collapse around us. I'm only half kidding anymore.

Where do I buy a ticket to? Cause it sure as shit ain't Maryland!

[assateague]

I was thinking right here. Because when the collapse starts, I don't want to hear about it. I want to see that shit play out live, so a long list of motherfuckers can hear me laughing and yelling "I TOLD YOU SO".

[3geese4me]

A level-headed, sane man with life experience. Maybe "judge" is the wrong word, but "offer your opinion" is certainly fine by me.


I say we all start a WFF compound. We would probably rule a sizable chunk of the world within 12 years. At the very least, we would all sit back in folding lawn chairs with looks of smug satisfaction, with well-raised kids, sipping beers while watching the rest of the world collapse around us. I'm only half kidding anymore.

shit, count me in

I'm down. I have a 100 acres to offer.

[Redbeard]

Ok. My turn.

My brothers in law had an opportunity last fall to buy 80 acres with a modest house on it near the farm and the rest of the family. Roughly half of the land is tillable and the 40 with the house is all wooded.

My wife and I have been considering buying a weekend place and if we could find the right piece with some land to hunt and generally dick off on we would pull the trigger - ideally it would be near family because we all get along generally well, vacation together, etc. Its been a long time goal of mine to own a small chunk of the earth.

So in passing conversation a month or so ago my brother in law says "I'm not sure what we are going to do with that house and land over there. We had a lease on the tillable acreage and put a well and irrigation pivot on it, then when she was going to lose it we bought it from the bank for a song and dance to protect the investment - what am I going to do with the house and woods??"

This is where I fucked up: "we've been thinking about buying a place. What are you looking to get out of it?"

So we've been in casual conversation on and off for the past month and Saturday night we were discussing it and he says "I guess I'd be happy if we could carve off that wooded 40 with the house and sell it for what we paid for the whole thing"

We've already discussed what they paid for it. He called me for advice before they did it. They call me all the time with questions about marketing strategies, interest rate questions, commodity pricing, the same thing I charge my customers for - they get for free.

I did some quick math in my head and said - "that seems fair. Let's do it".

It's still a good deal for us, and they get an irrigated 40 for basically $0.

He agreed and we started talking about having the family attorney draw up a sales agreement and having a survey done for easements, deed work, etc.

Then - I get this text message Monday morning: "Hey, was thinking about that land thing, and I think we should get an appraisal"

Which I interpreted as: "I think it's worth more than what I already agreed to sell it to you for"

I replied: Ok.



WTF? Irrigated dirt sells for $3-3,200/acre in that area. By my math that's $120,000 net on a piece of shit ground you didn't even want. Or put another way 175% return on your investment in 1 year.

I'm a capitalist. Make as much as you can, that's always my standard advice.
But the point you make a deal with someone?? That's it. You live with the deal you made.

If he comes back and asks for 1 fucking red cent more than the deal we already made, I'm going to send him a bill the next time we discuss commodities and marketing strategies -

Dammit. What happened to two men reaching an agreement and honoring it???

This is why I simply don't like family. I trust my friends- hell, even internet friends I've never met- about 4.5 times as much as I trust my family.

I watched my MIL's side of the family destroy itself when they all decided to go into business together. Their venture lasted only a year and I don't think the scars will ever heal

[Redbeard]

A level-headed, sane man with life experience. Maybe "judge" is the wrong word, but "offer your opinion" is certainly fine by me.


I say we all start a WFF compound. We would probably rule a sizable chunk of the world within 12 years. At the very least, we would all sit back in folding lawn chairs with looks of smug satisfaction, with well-raised kids, sipping beers while watching the rest of the world collapse around us. I'm only half kidding anymore.

I've learned to choose my battles. Don't know what good it would do for me to seek out and destroy the asshole parents as they huddle on the sideline and share wrong opinions. In the long run my daughter could end up the one most hurt

[waterfowlman]

Ok. My turn.

My brothers in law had an opportunity last fall to buy 80 acres with a modest house on it near the farm and the rest of the family. Roughly half of the land is tillable and the 40 with the house is all wooded.

My wife and I have been considering buying a weekend place and if we could find the right piece with some land to hunt and generally dick off on we would pull the trigger - ideally it would be near family because we all get along generally well, vacation together, etc. Its been a long time goal of mine to own a small chunk of the earth.

So in passing conversation a month or so ago my brother in law says "I'm not sure what we are going to do with that house and land over there. We had a lease on the tillable acreage and put a well and irrigation pivot on it, then when she was going to lose it we bought it from the bank for a song and dance to protect the investment - what am I going to do with the house and woods??"

This is where I fucked up: "we've been thinking about buying a place. What are you looking to get out of it?"

So we've been in casual conversation on and off for the past month and Saturday night we were discussing it and he says "I guess I'd be happy if we could carve off that wooded 40 with the house and sell it for what we paid for the whole thing"

We've already discussed what they paid for it. He called me for advice before they did it. They call me all the time with questions about marketing strategies, interest rate questions, commodity pricing, the same thing I charge my customers for - they get for free.

I did some quick math in my head and said - "that seems fair. Let's do it".

It's still a good deal for us, and they get an irrigated 40 for basically $0.

He agreed and we started talking about having the family attorney draw up a sales agreement and having a survey done for easements, deed work, etc.

Then - I get this text message Monday morning: "Hey, was thinking about that land thing, and I think we should get an appraisal"

Which I interpreted as: "I think it's worth more than what I already agreed to sell it to you for"

I replied: Ok.



WTF? Irrigated dirt sells for $3-3,200/acre in that area. By my math that's $120,000 net on a piece of shit ground you didn't even want. Or put another way 175% return on your investment in 1 year.

I'm a capitalist. Make as much as you can, that's always my standard advice.
But the point you make a deal with someone?? That's it. You live with the deal you made.

If he comes back and asks for 1 fucking red cent more than the deal we already made, I'm going to send him a bill the next time we discuss commodities and marketing strategies -

Dammit. What happened to two men reaching an agreement and honoring it???

Just ask him if he's a man of his word or not. Did you two handshake on the deal? If you did, hold his feet to the fire.

[sws002]

I was thinking right here. Because when the collapse starts, I don't want to hear about it. I want to see that shit play out live, so a long list of motherfuckers can hear me laughing and yelling "I TOLD YOU SO".

I'm down.

[(MT)Montanafowler]

I was thinking right here. Because when the collapse starts, I don't want to hear about it. I want to see that shit play out live, so a long list of motherfuckers can hear me laughing and yelling "I TOLD YOU SO".

too much fallout over there, I bet the whole eastern seaboard lights up. North Idaho would be the place to be I think, the palouse valley is probably the most fertile ground in the country.

[jehler]

I was thinking right here. Because when the collapse starts, I don't want to hear about it. I want to see that shit play out live, so a long list of motherfuckers can hear me laughing and yelling "I TOLD YOU SO".

too much fallout over there, I bet the whole eastern seaboard lights up. North Idaho would be the place to be I think, the palouse valley is probably the most fertile ground in the country.

screw that, when the shit hits the fan I'm taking over some small island near the 24th parallel

[waterfowlman]

I was thinking right here. Because when the collapse starts, I don't want to hear about it. I want to see that shit play out live, so a long list of motherfuckers can hear me laughing and yelling "I TOLD YOU SO".

too much fallout over there, I bet the whole eastern seaboard lights up. North Idaho would be the place to be I think, the palouse valley is probably the most fertile ground in the country.

screw that, when the shit hits the fan I'm taking over some small island near the 24th parallel

I know a few privately owned islands along that latitude we wouldn't have any problem removing the owners from.

[jehler]

I was thinking right here. Because when the collapse starts, I don't want to hear about it. I want to see that shit play out live, so a long list of motherfuckers can hear me laughing and yelling "I TOLD YOU SO".

too much fallout over there, I bet the whole eastern seaboard lights up. North Idaho would be the place to be I think, the palouse valley is probably the most fertile ground in the country.

screw that, when the shit hits the fan I'm taking over some small island near the 24th parallel

I know a few privately owned islands along that latitude we wouldn't have any problem removing the owners from.

now were talking

[DeadEye_Dan]

Ok. My turn.

My brothers in law had an opportunity last fall to buy 80 acres with a modest house on it near the farm and the rest of the family. Roughly half of the land is tillable and the 40 with the house is all wooded.

My wife and I have been considering buying a weekend place and if we could find the right piece with some land to hunt and generally dick off on we would pull the trigger - ideally it would be near family because we all get along generally well, vacation together, etc. Its been a long time goal of mine to own a small chunk of the earth.

So in passing conversation a month or so ago my brother in law says "I'm not sure what we are going to do with that house and land over there. We had a lease on the tillable acreage and put a well and irrigation pivot on it, then when she was going to lose it we bought it from the bank for a song and dance to protect the investment - what am I going to do with the house and woods??"

This is where I fucked up: "we've been thinking about buying a place. What are you looking to get out of it?"

So we've been in casual conversation on and off for the past month and Saturday night we were discussing it and he says "I guess I'd be happy if we could carve off that wooded 40 with the house and sell it for what we paid for the whole thing"

We've already discussed what they paid for it. He called me for advice before they did it. They call me all the time with questions about marketing strategies, interest rate questions, commodity pricing, the same thing I charge my customers for - they get for free.

I did some quick math in my head and said - "that seems fair. Let's do it".

It's still a good deal for us, and they get an irrigated 40 for basically $0.

He agreed and we started talking about having the family attorney draw up a sales agreement and having a survey done for easements, deed work, etc.

Then - I get this text message Monday morning: "Hey, was thinking about that land thing, and I think we should get an appraisal"

Which I interpreted as: "I think it's worth more than what I already agreed to sell it to you for"

I replied: Ok.



WTF? Irrigated dirt sells for $3-3,200/acre in that area. By my math that's $120,000 net on a piece of shit ground you didn't even want. Or put another way 175% return on your investment in 1 year.

I'm a capitalist. Make as much as you can, that's always my standard advice.
But the point you make a deal with someone?? That's it. You live with the deal you made.

If he comes back and asks for 1 fucking red cent more than the deal we already made, I'm going to send him a bill the next time we discuss commodities and marketing strategies -

Dammit. What happened to two men reaching an agreement and honoring it???

Just ask him if he's a man of his word or not. Did you two handshake on the deal? If you did, hold his feet to the fire.

Yeah we shook on it.
I'm damned either way.

[Bulldog0156]

This is a minor, but is getting me worked up. So here I am, lest I cause a rift in the family.


The FIL and MIL decided that they were going to rent a condo in at the beach this week, through Sunday. It was billed as a "family get together", and attendance was put forth as sort of "mandatory" (or at least assumed that everyone would be there).

Well, I'm not. I'm not certain what sort of self-important world some folks live in, but I generally don't just drop everything to go to what someone else decided would be mandatory fun. The wife is out of town, which was sort of a last minute thing, or at least it came about after the statement had been made that there was a family fun week. I was never asked, consulted, not anything- just assumed that I and the kids would be there. That's the biggest part that pisses me off. We've got horses, a dog, a puppy, chickens, baby chicks which need to be separated and put up every night, more baby chickens in the house, waiting to get a little older so they can go out to the coop as well, the normal housekeeping, kids to care for, the normal work week, and it's hunting season.

To be clear, I have never once said "I will be there". Matter of fact, I have said quite the contrary. Also, the beach is only about 15 miles away- it's not like this is some grand plan, involving plane tickets or something. I just get a call from FIL saying that he'll be here to pick up the kids at 5. I said, nope- the oldest is at her dad's this weekend, starting last night, and me and Layniebug are going to her soccer game. "What soccer game? We had this planned. What do you mean she's with her dad this weekend?" Apparently, the entire world is supposed to rearrange and accommodate someone else's schedule. Layniebug and I were going to stop and get Chinese food after the game, then have a relaxing evening with some quality time. Now, I'm going to have to deal with the FIL showing up to pick her up. To be fair, Layniebug will have fun, with her little cousin, but it pisses me off greatly that I'm told what's going to happen, like a grade schooler.

But it doesn't stop there. I was told "work it out with Taylor's dad, because he was supposed to let her come down this weekend". Well, I know nothing about this, and when Jen asked Taylor's dad, he said nope, because they had plans, and Short Stack has soccer practice on Saturday, anyway. How about- "not my fucking problem". I was then asked what time tomorrow I was coming down. Well, I'm not. I have to work. I have to take care of the animals. And I simply don't want to. Life is too short to blow a weekend. When I brought up all the shit I had to do, he said I could just "do it after work, and then come down". Well, that's nice. Except that I have no desire to sleep in some crowded ass condo with people I frankly don't like being around for long (except the FIL- he's actually pretty good), just to have to get up at about 4:30 Saturday morning, to drive a half hour home, take care of the animals, let Dutch out of the kennel, put him BACK in the kennel, drive BACK down, spend the day, drive BACK home to get my wife at the airport in the afternoon, drive her and I BACK down to the beach (after she's been gone all week), only to do it all again on Sunday.

No. You may kiss my ass. Not sure if it's just me, but it seems not only unrealistic, but pretty fucking piss poor to even EXPECT someone to do what I was "asked" to do, for the sake of some "family unity" bullshit. Not only that, but I would never even consider proposing to someone what was just put to me. Because it's fucking stupid. I'm not inconveniencing myself for anybody. And certainly not for people that I see about once a month, or three times a week, in the case of the FIL and MIL. I don't get it. But I fully expect there to be some blowout over this. And I'll just be forced to to tell them all to kiss my ass.

Ok, I think I'm done. But I'm not sure. I may have more.

I haven't read the rest of the thread, but I learned a long time ago that you can't always make everyone happy, so fuck 'em if you don't do what they want you to do. It's your life to live, they have their own.

[assateague]

.

I feel your pain, brother. The abbreviated version of mine is similar. After a blowout of sorts, mom wanted us to buy the family farm we were living on. I said, well, I suppose. Not happy about it, all things considered, but willing to discuss. We settled on a price, then when it came time for it, the step-dad hopped in and said "we've decided it needs to be appraised first". I told him to, quote, "mind your own fucking business, Joe". At which point I was told that I was acting like a spoiled brat if I wasn't willing to go with an appraisal price. So I said fine, you can have it, hope you choke on it. We'll be out in two months. It was a bit more heated than that, and quite a bit longer, but that's the gist.

Last I spoke to her. Aside from the cussings.

[DeadEye_Dan]

The worst part of the whole thing??

I know better. I've played referee enough times in these things with customers that I KNOW BETTER than to get involved with family when it comes to money, and that it would end poorly.

Yet, here I am. I allowed my desire to own that property to cloud my judgement. Dumbass.

[Willie]

Assa...nor'easter coming this weekend anyway. OC won't be much fun and the hunting may suck too.
I feel ya on the hostility, but if it's me, I'd probably try to at least get the kids there to hang out with grandparents and cousins, and maybe even make the family dinner. I have a bad habit of trying to please everybody, but we've lost so many members of my family in the last four years, I have a different outlook on things than I did before I had kids.
I don't blame you a bit for telling the fil to kiss your ass though.

[Tiler_J]

My advice is, Assa- let the in-laws take bug and let her have fun. Tell them you are to busy and can't attend for the weekend and thanks for the offer.

Dan- back out of the deal now. Tell them you are looking at some other property that you are interested in or that you just can't buy it right now.

Nothing good seems to come out of either of these two situations. You can pick your friends but you are stuck with family. Just my .02 cents.

Or, both of you can tell your family to FUCK OFF!

I would probably go with option #1 first.

[Tomkat]

Ted Nugent wrote one of my favorite songs ever.

It's called kiss my ass.



Blog- http://www.ksducks.com

[assateague]

My advice is, Assa- let the in-laws take bug and let her have fun. Tell them you are to busy and can't attend for the weekend and thanks for the offer.

Dan- back out of the deal now. Tell them you are looking at some other property that you are interested in or that you just can't buy it right now.

Nothing good seems to come out of either of these two situations. You can pick your friends but you are stuck with family. Just my .02 cents.

Or, both of you can tell your family to FUCK OFF!

I would probably go with option #1 first.

That's exactly what I did. Told him to come pick up Bug, but the oldest has soccer practice, and Jen and I won't be there.

[Tomkat]