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Craigslist

PostPosted: Wed Feb 20, 2013 10:42 pm
by 3legged_lab
Doubt it really happened, but it made me laugh.

AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD
To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.Date: 2010-09-27, 1:43 am. E.S.T.I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. my girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a Combat Marine in Afghanistan .. She had just bought me that Kimber Custom Model 1911 ..45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with crap in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was extremely grateful!I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ..... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat(I guess while he traced your number etc.);In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.. Have a good day!
Thoughtfully yours,
Semper Fi,
Alex

Re: Craigslist

PostPosted: Wed Feb 20, 2013 10:47 pm
by rebelp74
I hope it really happened, that's awesome.

Re: Craigslist

PostPosted: Wed Feb 20, 2013 11:06 pm
by Goldfish
rebelp74 wrote:I hope it really happened, that's awesome.

Highly doubtful, but it would be nice

sent from a phancy fone

Re: Craigslist

PostPosted: Wed Feb 20, 2013 11:21 pm
by NuffDaddy
Goldfish wrote:
rebelp74 wrote:I hope it really happened, that's awesome.

Highly doubtful, but it would be nice

sent from a phancy fone

it would blow to be that guy if it actually happened.


Sent from my badazz phone using a badazz app

Re: Craigslist

PostPosted: Wed Feb 20, 2013 11:45 pm
by MuddyWaterWarlock
Can I have my shoes back? Please!

Re: Craigslist

PostPosted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 12:00 am
by 3legged_lab
MuddyWaterWarlock wrote:Can I have my shoes back? Please!

Thought you were the guy who was given the shoes?

Re: Craigslist

PostPosted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 12:09 am
by MuddyWaterWarlock
3legged_lab wrote:
MuddyWaterWarlock wrote:Can I have my shoes back? Please!

Thought you were the guy who was given the shoes?

Caught me, I was going for that second pair! Shoes are overrated anyway!

Re: Craigslist

PostPosted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 12:11 am
by 3legged_lab
:lol::lol: