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Crazy things old people say

PostPosted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 5:47 am
by Woody
My grandpa has tons of sayings but here are some of his gems...

"Finer than frog hair"

"Lonelier than Toby's hind leg"

Next one needs some context:
Whenever my grandma says "We" are doing something, referring to her and my grandpa, he says...

"Who, you and the tird in your pocket?"

Does anyone else have an old timer with their own lingo?

Re: Crazy things old people say

PostPosted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 6:06 am
by Eric Haynes
Woody wrote:My grandpa has tons of sayings but here are some of his gems...

"Finer than frog hair"

"Lonelier than Toby's hind leg"

Next one needs some context:
Whenever my grandma says "We" are doing something, referring to her and my grandpa, he says...

"Who, you and the tird in your pocket?"

Does anyone else have an old timer with their own lingo?

Not besides the saying Kmarts, walmarts, lowles, warsh...

Sent from my H866C using Tapatalk 2

Re: Crazy things old people say

PostPosted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 6:07 am
by Woody
Eric Haynes wrote:
Woody wrote:My grandpa has tons of sayings but here are some of his gems...

"Finer than frog hair"

"Lonelier than Toby's hind leg"

Next one needs some context:
Whenever my grandma says "We" are doing something, referring to her and my grandpa, he says...

"Who, you and the tird in your pocket?"

Does anyone else have an old timer with their own lingo?

Not besides the saying Kmarts, walmarts, lowles, warsh...

Sent from my H866C using Tapatalk 2

Mine do too, I always wonder why they add s to the end...

Re: Crazy things old people say

PostPosted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 8:03 am
by flight control
I was looking for a tool in my granparents basement one time and I heard a pot boil over on the stove. Next thing I hear is my grandfather yell " I run all my life for a fuckin potatoe, I aint gonna run today." That must have been 10+ years ago, and I still laugh whenever I remember it.

I miss that old man.

Re: Crazy things old people say

PostPosted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 8:46 am
by Bulldog0156
The words Bastardf*cker and Tittybags

Re: Crazy things old people say

PostPosted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 8:47 am
by quacknstack6
You're like a sore pecker boy, hard to beat.
Replacing that tranny was harder than a wedding dick.

Re: Crazy things old people say

PostPosted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 9:39 am
by aunt betty
Dain Bramaged.
Crazy like a fox.
Need to talk to a man about a horse.
Don't tell grandma about this.

That's about as exciting as it got around my grandpa. Old mule-driver and coal-miner. Very religious. Never heard him say a swear word.

Re: Crazy things old people say

PostPosted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 10:30 am
by Woody
quacknstack6 wrote:You're like a sore pecker boy, hard to beat.
Replacing that tranny was harder than a wedding dick.


Those are some classics!
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Re: Crazy things old people say

PostPosted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 10:31 am
by Woody
flight control wrote:I was looking for a tool in my granparents basement one time and I heard a pot boil over on the stove. Next thing I hear is my grandfather yell " I run all my life for a fuckin potatoe, I aint gonna run today." That must have been 10+ years ago, and I still laugh whenever I remember it.

I miss that old man.


I don't blame him...

Re: Crazy things old people say

PostPosted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 10:38 am
by bill herian
"Speak now or forever hold your groin."

"I didn't know whether to shit or wind my watch."

Re: Crazy things old people say

PostPosted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 11:13 am
by Redbeard
Not to many whitty sayings. Other than calling everyone a N(**edited by mods)r he would call his tools "goddammits." "Hey son grab me that goddammit over there"

Re: Crazy things old people say

PostPosted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 11:25 am
by DeadEye_Dan
Grandpa on hot weather: "Hotter than 2 rats screwing in a wool sock"

Grandpa on business and risk management: "don't really matter how deep the water is if you can swim"

Re: Crazy things old people say

PostPosted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 11:36 am
by Woody
DeadEye_Dan wrote:Grandpa on hot weather: "Hotter than 2 rats screwing in a wool sock"

Grandpa on business and risk management: "don't really matter how deep the water is if you can swim"

:lol:

Re: Crazy things old people say

PostPosted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 11:41 am
by Woody
Redbeard wrote:Not to many whitty sayings. Other than calling everyone a N(**edited by mods)r he would call his tools "goddammits." "Hey son grab me that goddammit over there"


My grandpa is one of the nicest guys, and I have never seem show a hint of racism towards people, but...

He will kill any black squirrel that comes near his property.

And just recently I was looking at lab puppies... I was looking at chocolate and black...

He told me "never by anything but a yellow, they are smarter, easier to train, mellower tempered, and better behaved"

I asked, "how do you figure?"

He said, "just think about it"

Re: Crazy things old people say

PostPosted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 11:57 am
by Redbeard
Woody wrote:
Redbeard wrote:Not to many whitty sayings. Other than calling everyone a N(**edited by mods)r he would call his tools "goddammits." "Hey son grab me that goddammit over there"


My grandpa is one of the nicest guys, and I have never seem show a hint of racism towards people, but...

He will kill any black squirrel that comes near his property.

And just recently I was looking at lab puppies... I was looking at chocolate and black...

He told me "never by anything but a yellow, they are smarter, easier to train, mellower tempered, and better behaved"

I asked, "how do you figure?"

He said, "just think about it"

I still remember a talk we had. Because I played basketball my whole life and he knew it, he felt the need to explain to me that he wasn't racist and that it was just the way he was raised in Arkansas. He really was a decent man. Just grew up in that era

Re: Crazy things old people say

PostPosted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 12:15 pm
by Eric Haynes
They all used that language back then. It was normal. My aunt is married to a black guy, so my grandfather has watched his mouth for a good 30-40 years:lol::lol:



Sent from my H866C using Tapatalk 2

Re: Crazy things old people say

PostPosted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 1:05 pm
by jarbo03
Raining like pouring piss out of a boot. My gramps was fron Arkansas too, shit was funny.

Sent from my SPH-D710 using Tapatalk 2

Re: Crazy things old people say

PostPosted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 1:06 pm
by obxbufflehead
My granddad is from Poland. He doesn't say anything funny.

Re: Crazy things old people say

PostPosted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 1:08 pm
by quacknstack6
Boy use that thing on your shoulders for more than a hat rack.
Watched my dad get hit in the head by the arm of a clay pigeon thrower. He sprayed WD40 on the trigger spring and it released, after he knew what happened he told me. "If I was any less of a man I would have been knocked the fuck out." From that day I knew if ever come the time to put the ol man down I would be forced to eat plenty of wheaties that morning.

"Boy you're like a damn farm mule, I need a 2x4 to get your attention."

Re: Crazy things old people say

PostPosted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 1:27 pm
by JGUN
quacknstack6 wrote:Boy use that thing on your shoulders for more than a hat rack.
Watched my dad get hit in the head by the arm of a clay pigeon thrower. He sprayed WD40 on the trigger spring and it released, after he knew what happened he told me. "If I was any less of a man I would have been knocked the fuck out." From that day I knew if ever come the time to put the ol man down I would be forced to eat plenty of wheaties that morning.

"Boy you're like a damn farm mule, I need a 2x4 to get your attention."

Damn that must have tickled.

Re: Crazy things old people say

PostPosted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 1:31 pm
by bill herian
obxbufflehead wrote:My granddad is from Poland. He doesn't say anything funny.


Polish people are the best. Not afraid to be the butt of a joke either. Very humorous metaphysics among the Polish.

Re: Crazy things old people say

PostPosted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 1:35 pm
by quacknstack6
JGUN wrote:
quacknstack6 wrote:Boy use that thing on your shoulders for more than a hat rack.
Watched my dad get hit in the head by the arm of a clay pigeon thrower. He sprayed WD40 on the trigger spring and it released, after he knew what happened he told me. "If I was any less of a man I would have been knocked the fuck out." From that day I knew if ever come the time to put the ol man down I would be forced to eat plenty of wheaties that morning.

"Boy you're like a damn farm mule, I need a 2x4 to get your attention."

Damn that must have tickled.

I would imagine, he walked inside grabbed a sweat tea and acted like nothing happened. Also watched him hit a Hereford bull across the face with a lead pipe and kill it stone dead for charging him. Craziest old man I have ever seen.

Re: Crazy things old people say

PostPosted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 1:37 pm
by obxbufflehead
bill herian wrote:
obxbufflehead wrote:My granddad is from Poland. He doesn't say anything funny.


Polish people are the best. Not afraid to be the butt of a joke either. Very humorous metaphysics among the Polish.

Not my family. Very uptight people.

Re: Crazy things old people say

PostPosted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 1:41 pm
by JGUN
Know any good pollock jokes?

Re: Crazy things old people say

PostPosted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 3:15 pm
by assateague
Why'd the fish cross the road?

Re: Crazy things old people say

PostPosted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 3:16 pm
by assateague
quacknstack6 wrote:Boy use that thing on your shoulders for more than a hat rack.
Watched my dad get hit in the head by the arm of a clay pigeon thrower. He sprayed WD40 on the trigger spring and it released, after he knew what happened he told me. "If I was any less of a man I would have been knocked the fuck out." From that day I knew if ever come the time to put the ol man down I would be forced to eat plenty of wheaties that morning.

"Boy you're like a damn farm mule, I need a 2x4 to get your attention."


I'm laughing hysterically picturing this happening.

Re: Crazy things old people say

PostPosted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 3:24 pm
by The Duck Hammer
quacknstack6 wrote:
JGUN wrote:
quacknstack6 wrote:Boy use that thing on your shoulders for more than a hat rack.
Watched my dad get hit in the head by the arm of a clay pigeon thrower. He sprayed WD40 on the trigger spring and it released, after he knew what happened he told me. "If I was any less of a man I would have been knocked the fuck out." From that day I knew if ever come the time to put the ol man down I would be forced to eat plenty of wheaties that morning.

"Boy you're like a damn farm mule, I need a 2x4 to get your attention."

Damn that must have tickled.

I would imagine, he walked inside grabbed a sweat tea and acted like nothing happened. Also watched him hit a Hereford bull across the face with a lead pipe and kill it stone dead for charging him. Craziest old man I have ever seen.

Holy shit. I wouldnt want to piss off your dad.

Re: Crazy things old people say

PostPosted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 3:30 pm
by Flightstopper
That boy doesn't have enough sense to pour piss from his boot.

That's handier than a pocket on a shirt.

And when you screwed up;
Do that again and I will skin you alive!

Re: Crazy things old people say

PostPosted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 3:34 pm
by rebelp74
You don't know your ass from a hole in the ground.

Re: Crazy things old people say

PostPosted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 3:38 pm
by BrewGUN
quacknstack6 wrote:
JGUN wrote:
quacknstack6 wrote:Boy use that thing on your shoulders for more than a hat rack.
Watched my dad get hit in the head by the arm of a clay pigeon thrower. He sprayed WD40 on the trigger spring and it released, after he knew what happened he told me. "If I was any less of a man I would have been knocked the fuck out." From that day I knew if ever come the time to put the ol man down I would be forced to eat plenty of wheaties that morning.

"Boy you're like a damn farm mule, I need a 2x4 to get your attention."

Damn that must have tickled.

I would imagine, he walked inside grabbed a sweat tea and acted like nothing happened. Also watched him hit a Hereford bull across the face with a lead pipe and kill it stone dead for charging him. Craziest old man I have ever seen.

Are you sure your not related to Assa in someway?