The Theory of Medium©
Posted: Wed May 29, 2013 2:13 pmOk, while the 50/50™ is sort of (but only sort of) tongue in cheek, the Theory of Medium© is very much practiced by me every day. I've found that it works well. It's based off of the idea that compromise is actually a bad thing for all parties involved, and is something to be avoided. The reason is that, to me, it's better to have one person/party as happy as possible, rather than both being equally miserable. Compromise is supposed to make both sides happy, but the overwhelming majority of the time, it makes both parties equally unhappy instead, and it also leads to downward emotions, not upward. It also applies to things as well, but we'll get to that.
For example, if I want Chinese and the wife wants Italian, we don't compromise and get BBQ. Then we would both be settling for something we didn't want. Not only would neither be happy, but the unhappiness, the feeling of "settling for" would contaminate the whole evening. I would argue for Chinese to the best of my ability, and she would argue for Italian to the best of her ability, and then we would choose one or the other. This way, one of us is happy, and THAT is contagious. Everybody's been in a situation full of miserable people- the overall tone is one of misery, because it's contagious. But if there's one or two happy people mixed in there, that will spread throughout everybody. Furthermore, if we get BBQ, I will be concentrating on Chinese, and my wife will be concentrating on Italian, and how good _________ would have been. Because of this, neither can concentrate on what they're having. If we go to Italian, I may find something I like even more than Chinese, or didn't know existed. Because my wife is happy, I'm more inclined to find something enjoyable, and vice versa.
Same with things. Everybody knows this, but doesn't realize it. A Leatherman pair of pliers is nowhere near as good as a real pair of pliers. The knife in a Leatherman is nowhere near as good as a knife which was made to be a knife. But we "settle" for the convenience, and are a little unhappy with both the knife and the pliers, whether we care to admit it or not. Like Grizz was talking about- planning to go fishing, and taking a wakeboard as well will almost surely guarantee that while fishing, someone would wish they were wakeboarding, and while wakeboarding, someone will wish they were fishing. Do one or the other. Without a wakeboard, the guy who would have been wishing he was wakeboarding may find himself just enjoying BSing and drinking beers while everyone is fishing, something he wouldn't have done if he had the wakeboard present to think about. A gun designed for long range shooting and CQB will most assuredly be a failure at both, leaving you "wanting" in both situations, rather than coming up with a way to make what you DO have work in any situation. A boat hull designed for open water and shallow marsh will suck at both. Compromise is bad.
Avoiding "Medium" allows people to focus on the now, and try to enjoy what you DO have, rather than compromising. And that's the Theory of Medium© Avoid compromise, but don't be a dick about it. Realize that you win some and you lose some, and that the best thing to do in any situation is make the best of it and find something in it to enjoy, rather than wishing for something you don't have.
The End.
For example, if I want Chinese and the wife wants Italian, we don't compromise and get BBQ. Then we would both be settling for something we didn't want. Not only would neither be happy, but the unhappiness, the feeling of "settling for" would contaminate the whole evening. I would argue for Chinese to the best of my ability, and she would argue for Italian to the best of her ability, and then we would choose one or the other. This way, one of us is happy, and THAT is contagious. Everybody's been in a situation full of miserable people- the overall tone is one of misery, because it's contagious. But if there's one or two happy people mixed in there, that will spread throughout everybody. Furthermore, if we get BBQ, I will be concentrating on Chinese, and my wife will be concentrating on Italian, and how good _________ would have been. Because of this, neither can concentrate on what they're having. If we go to Italian, I may find something I like even more than Chinese, or didn't know existed. Because my wife is happy, I'm more inclined to find something enjoyable, and vice versa.
Same with things. Everybody knows this, but doesn't realize it. A Leatherman pair of pliers is nowhere near as good as a real pair of pliers. The knife in a Leatherman is nowhere near as good as a knife which was made to be a knife. But we "settle" for the convenience, and are a little unhappy with both the knife and the pliers, whether we care to admit it or not. Like Grizz was talking about- planning to go fishing, and taking a wakeboard as well will almost surely guarantee that while fishing, someone would wish they were wakeboarding, and while wakeboarding, someone will wish they were fishing. Do one or the other. Without a wakeboard, the guy who would have been wishing he was wakeboarding may find himself just enjoying BSing and drinking beers while everyone is fishing, something he wouldn't have done if he had the wakeboard present to think about. A gun designed for long range shooting and CQB will most assuredly be a failure at both, leaving you "wanting" in both situations, rather than coming up with a way to make what you DO have work in any situation. A boat hull designed for open water and shallow marsh will suck at both. Compromise is bad.
Avoiding "Medium" allows people to focus on the now, and try to enjoy what you DO have, rather than compromising. And that's the Theory of Medium© Avoid compromise, but don't be a dick about it. Realize that you win some and you lose some, and that the best thing to do in any situation is make the best of it and find something in it to enjoy, rather than wishing for something you don't have.
The End.
