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Dateline: Grand Rapids, MI 10:46 AM

Officials are reporting that they have uncovered a massive terrorist plot bent on bringing harm to the American people late this morning.

TSA officials allege that a handsome Midwestern male was attempting to board a flight from Gerald R Ford International Airport with a cigar lighter in his baggage.
Shouts of "terrorist!", "durka durka" and "Allah Akbar" could be heard throughout the United Terminal whilst the jack-booted Gestapo searched the carry on luggage of the alleged terrorist.

We will bring you updates as the story unfolds.

They found midgets in the luggage, didn't they

sent from a phancy fone

DeadEye_Dan wrote:Dateline: Grand Rapids, MI 10:46 AM

Officials are reporting that they have uncovered a massive terrorist plot bent on bringing harm to the American people late this morning.

TSA officials allege that a handsome Midwestern male was attempting to board a flight from Gerald R Ford International Airport with a cigar lighter in his baggage.
Shouts of "terrorist!", "durka durka" and "Allah Akbar" could be heard throughout the United Terminal whilst the jack-booted Gestapo searched the carry on luggage of the alleged terrorist.

We will bring you updates as the story unfolds.

UPDATE

The terrorist in Grand Rapids has been linked to a female traveler discovered leaving Texas last weekend. She was apprehended carrying a large, oversized Reese's peanut butter cup. Sources familiar with the investigation state that the lighter, combined with a large piece of chocolate "could have had the capability of bringing down a large airliner". Authorities have not yet disclosed what ties the two have to any known organizations, or if they had ever even heard of each other.

More on this breaking story as we get the details.

Lol!

Dateline Grand Rapids MI.


The alleged terrorist appears to be smuggling a club or weapon of some type.
Yoga Pants season is in full swing in Grand Rapids.

UPDATE

Airport authorities have now cleared the passenger, determining that it was just a Bic pen in his pocket, and no danger to anyone.

That was too easy.

That's what you get for not having a private plane.

assateague wrote:That's what you get for not having a private plane.

Don't fucking start with me.

Your seat will be next to the 58 year old, grossly overweight, mouth-breathing fat guy. But you will get to walk by her on the way to your seat.

DeadEye_Dan wrote:

ImageUploadedByTapatalk1380557736.496318.jpg

Ho fasho

I'd be praying I sat next to her.

Sent from my phone.

assateague wrote:Your seat will be next to the 58 year old, grossly overweight, mouth-breathing fat guy. But you will get to walk by her on the way to your seat.

You shouldn't put that shit on anyone.

assateague wrote:

DeadEye_Dan wrote:Dateline: Grand Rapids, MI 10:46 AM

Officials are reporting that they have uncovered a massive terrorist plot bent on bringing harm to the American people late this morning.

TSA officials allege that a handsome Midwestern male was attempting to board a flight from Gerald R Ford International Airport with a cigar lighter in his baggage.
Shouts of "terrorist!", "durka durka" and "Allah Akbar" could be heard throughout the United Terminal whilst the jack-booted Gestapo searched the carry on luggage of the alleged terrorist.

We will bring you updates as the story unfolds.

UPDATE

The terrorist in Grand Rapids has been linked to a female traveler discovered leaving Texas last weekend. She was apprehended carrying a large, oversized Reese's peanut butter cup. Sources familiar with the investigation state that the lighter, combined with a large piece of chocolate "could have had the capability of bringing down a large airliner". Authorities have not yet disclosed what ties the two have to any known organizations, or if they had ever even heard of each other.

More on this breaking story as we get the details.

Did you ever say what their reasoning for confiscating the reeses was? Like maybe, "its over the allowable 3 ounces" or some dumb shit?

No, I didn't. But when she told me the pack of Reese's was $14, and some fat fuck TSA agent took them, I got even madder than I was. No clue what the reason was, only "they aren't allowed". I'm almost certain that if I paid $14 for a candy bar, I would have raised far more hell than my wife did when some shitheel tried to take it.

DeadEye_Dan wrote:Dateline: Grand Rapids, MI 10:46 AM

Officials are reporting that they have uncovered a massive terrorist plot bent on bringing harm to the American people late this morning.

TSA officials allege that a handsome Midwestern male was attempting to board a flight from Gerald R Ford International Airport with a cigar lighter in his baggage.
Shouts of "terrorist!", "durka durka" and "Allah Akbar" could be heard throughout the United Terminal whilst the jack-booted Gestapo searched the carry on luggage of the alleged terrorist.

We will bring you updates as the story unfolds.

They heard I'm flying in to GRR Thursday....

Bulldog0156 wrote:

DeadEye_Dan wrote:Dateline: Grand Rapids, MI 10:46 AM

Officials are reporting that they have uncovered a massive terrorist plot bent on bringing harm to the American people late this morning.

TSA officials allege that a handsome Midwestern male was attempting to board a flight from Gerald R Ford International Airport with a cigar lighter in his baggage.
Shouts of "terrorist!", "durka durka" and "Allah Akbar" could be heard throughout the United Terminal whilst the jack-booted Gestapo searched the carry on luggage of the alleged terrorist.

We will bring you updates as the story unfolds.

They heard I'm flying in to GRR Thursday....

Me too

assateague wrote:No, I didn't. But when she told me the pack of Reese's was $14, and some fat fuck TSA agent took them, I got even madder than I was. No clue what the reason was, only "they aren't allowed". I'm almost certain that if I paid $14 for a candy bar, I would have raised far more hell than my wife did when some shitheel tried to take it.

Clyde took your candy??

assateague wrote:No, I didn't. But when she told me the pack of Reese's was $14, and some fat fuck TSA agent took them, I got even madder than I was. No clue what the reason was, only "they aren't allowed". I'm almost certain that if I paid $14 for a candy bar, I would have raised far more hell than my wife did when some shitheel tried to take it.

I bet she never even bought you one. It was just her elaborate scheme to getting you into "a mood" so she wouldn't have to spend the night surrounded by family at the condo, and have it not look like it was her fault.

3legged_lab wrote:

assateague wrote:No, I didn't. But when she told me the pack of Reese's was $14, and some fat fuck TSA agent took them, I got even madder than I was. No clue what the reason was, only "they aren't allowed". I'm almost certain that if I paid $14 for a candy bar, I would have raised far more hell than my wife did when some shitheel tried to take it.

I bet she never even bought you one. It was just her elaborate scheme to getting you into "a mood" so she wouldn't have to spend the night surrounded by family at the condo, and have it not look like it was her fault.

that would be pretty fucking genius!

DeadEye_Dan wrote:

Bulldog0156 wrote:

DeadEye_Dan wrote:Dateline: Grand Rapids, MI 10:46 AM

Officials are reporting that they have uncovered a massive terrorist plot bent on bringing harm to the American people late this morning.

TSA officials allege that a handsome Midwestern male was attempting to board a flight from Gerald R Ford International Airport with a cigar lighter in his baggage.
Shouts of "terrorist!", "durka durka" and "Allah Akbar" could be heard throughout the United Terminal whilst the jack-booted Gestapo searched the carry on luggage of the alleged terrorist.

We will bring you updates as the story unfolds.

They heard I'm flying in to GRR Thursday....

Me too

What time? I'm on the flight from MPLS that gets in at 10 at night.

(MT)Montanafowler wrote:

3legged_lab wrote:

assateague wrote:No, I didn't. But when she told me the pack of Reese's was $14, and some fat fuck TSA agent took them, I got even madder than I was. No clue what the reason was, only "they aren't allowed". I'm almost certain that if I paid $14 for a candy bar, I would have raised far more hell than my wife did when some shitheel tried to take it.

I bet she never even bought you one. It was just her elaborate scheme to getting you into "a mood" so she wouldn't have to spend the night surrounded by family at the condo, and have it not look like it was her fault.

that would be pretty fucking genius!

Women are evil geniuses. The sooner you learn that the sooner you can use it to your advantage.

Bulldog0156 wrote:

DeadEye_Dan wrote:

Bulldog0156 wrote:

DeadEye_Dan wrote:Dateline: Grand Rapids, MI 10:46 AM

Officials are reporting that they have uncovered a massive terrorist plot bent on bringing harm to the American people late this morning.

TSA officials allege that a handsome Midwestern male was attempting to board a flight from Gerald R Ford International Airport with a cigar lighter in his baggage.
Shouts of "terrorist!", "durka durka" and "Allah Akbar" could be heard throughout the United Terminal whilst the jack-booted Gestapo searched the carry on luggage of the alleged terrorist.

We will bring you updates as the story unfolds.

They heard I'm flying in to GRR Thursday....

Me too

What time? I'm on the flight from MPLS that gets in at 10 at night.

You on a layover here, or just off and back on?

sent from a phancy fone

Goldfish wrote:

Bulldog0156 wrote:What time? I'm on the flight from MPLS that gets in at 10 at night.

You on a layover here, or just off and back on?

sent from a phancy fone

what is this, duckdate.com? are you two going for a quickie or the full mile high experience?

Your jealously is showing

sent from a phancy fone

(MT)Montanafowler wrote:

Goldfish wrote:

Bulldog0156 wrote:What time? I'm on the flight from MPLS that gets in at 10 at night.

You on a layover here, or just off and back on?

sent from a phancy fone

what is this, duckdate.com? are you two going for a quickie or the full mile high experience?

Dude, you said we aren't exclusive.

I'll be on a layover from Billings to Grand Rapids Goldie.

Just seeing if you were crashing at the airport for the night more or less. Despite the fact that this falls right onto Montana's post, I can get ya a hotel for cheap more often then not so you don't have to sleep at the airport

sent from a phancy fone

Fowler's just jealous of what we have. If you had the same hookup in billings I would take you up on it. One of the perks of living in a small town is flying out the night before for an afternoon flight the next day from the "big" airport.