what would you do?

[flight control]

My girls are six and three. They are normally well behaved, but something needs to be done to fix some behavioral problems they have picked up.

Their mother works at the daycare in town, so they go with her. They have discovered that there are rules in place preventing their mother or any of the daycare staff from disciplining them, rules that neither of us like, but if she wants to keep her job, she needs to follow. What normally happens is we dicuss their behavior when we get home and discipline at home. Normally, this means dinner and straight to bed, canceling playdates or weekend activities that we had planned. Also, this is not an every day occurence, but it seems they forget that there are consequences for their actions every so often.

They are not perfect, no child is, and we always get complimented on how well behaved our kids are. However, today was apparently so bad that she refuses to bring them tomorow, a day that I had off work and had planned to hunt with my dad and brother. Stuff like throwing sand in another kid's face, innapropriate language, the youngest one threw a tantrum and cried for an hour, the kind of stuff they would not dare try outside of that building. They were already in bed when I got home. I am not impressed.

So, since I had to cancel my plans to rectify the situation, I call on you, the WFF fathers, to help me think up new and exciting punisments for our day tomorow

[one2many]

hmmm scrub out the garage then go get ice cream but not for them.
lol i dont know im having troubles with my 17 yo so i must have fucked up somewhere

[(MT)Montanafowler]

.99 cent toothbrushes at CVS/Walgreens, have to scrub the wood floors and linoleum clean.


i'm not a parent, that was firsthand knowledge.

[flight control]

hmmm scrub out the garage then go get ice cream but not for them.
lol i dont know im having troubles with my 17 yo so i must have fucked up somewhere

I've heard you can't help but screw up somewhere by the time they turn 17. I was thinking they would have the house spotless by the time their mother got home. There is dog crap tjat needs cleaning up in the yard.

Or I could spank them until my arms get tired.

[flight control]

.99 cent toothbrushes at CVS/Walgreens, have to scrub the wood floors and linoleum clean.


i'm not a parent, that was firsthand knowledge.

Yeah, this is a possibility. I always just had to go to my room. I got used to it after a while and it wasn't really a punishment anymore.I need to keep these kids on their toes.

[(MT)Montanafowler]

loss of door privileges, if the behavior doesn't improve loss of bed privileges (tough shit son, but don't worry, you won't freeze to death). no tv, no friends, no game systems.

[Slingshot]

Well I tell you what I've done in the past , when My kids were still that age.I would take their favorite toys or what ever they had at that time , and take it away. Then we would have then sit down and right , I'm sorry letters till they begged us to stop.If this didn't work they got the paddle, as a last resort.We allways tryed are best and thats all you can do as well. Some of the simplest things would get them to behave like they were tought. Now they are teenager's and I've got my hands full. The writing would get them the most and still to this day , they tell me it was the worst.

[flight control]

Well I tell you what I've done in the past , when My kids were still that age.I would take their favorite toys or what ever they had at that time , and take it away. Then we would have then sit down and right , I'm sorry letters till they begged us to stop.If this didn't work they got the paddle, as a last resort.We allways tryed are best and thats all you can do as well. Some of the simplest things would get them to behave like they were tought. Now they are teenager's and I've got my hands full. The writing would get them the most and still to this day , they tell me it was the worst.

Yeah, I've been saving the writing letters/lines for a little later, but I think it's going to happen for my oldest tomorrow. Shes writing appology letters to a few people.

[assateague]

I just make mine stand at parade rest in the middle of the room. Whichever room I'm in. They've had to do it for hours before, while I sat there and worked, cooked some dinner, or whatever. They hate that crap, and will do all they can to avoid simply having to stand in the middle of a room forever. No TV, no phone, no book, no nothing. Just stand there until I get tired of you standing there.


But truthfully, it sounds like you have a tough road ahead, with the environment that they're spending a big chunk of time in. They can't help but learn those behaviors.

[Tiler_J]

At one point with my son when he was younger, we packed up all his toys in bags and put them in the garage. He had to earn his toys back by good behavior. He earned them back one or two at a time and we chose what he got back. It took awhile, but solved the issue at the time.

Good luck.

[Redbeard]

My girls are six and three. They are normally well behaved, but something needs to be done to fix some behavioral problems they have picked up.

Their mother works at the daycare in town, so they go with her. They have discovered that there are rules in place preventing their mother or any of the daycare staff from disciplining them, rules that neither of us like, but if she wants to keep her job, she needs to follow. What normally happens is we dicuss their behavior when we get home and discipline at home. Normally, this means dinner and straight to bed, canceling playdates or weekend activities that we had planned. Also, this is not an every day occurence, but it seems they forget that there are consequences for their actions every so often.

They are not perfect, no child is, and we always get complimented on how well behaved our kids are. However, today was apparently so bad that she refuses to bring them tomorow, a day that I had off work and had planned to hunt with my dad and brother. Stuff like throwing sand in another kid's face, innapropriate language, the youngest one threw a tantrum and cried for an hour, the kind of stuff they would not dare try outside of that building. They were already in bed when I got home. I am not impressed.

So, since I had to cancel my plans to rectify the situation, I call on you, the WFF fathers, to help me think up new and exciting punisments for our day tomorow

so are you suggesting they are well behaved at home, but act out at day care because they get caught up in the hoopla there and know momma can't discipline em?

Can momma take them into the bathroom to discipline em?

Young kids are like dogs, you have to discipline them on the spot. Waiting hours later and trying to explain to a 3 yr old what they did wrong that morning is a waste of time.

I hate day cares for this reason. Kids pick shit up. I understand if you have to send kids there; ie momma works, but good luck.

[flight control]

Pretty much red. I hear nothing but good things from the teachers, friends parents and family. But daycare is just a different story.They can't even put kids in a time out chair, it's total bullshit. As far as momma goes, she has fourteen afterschool kids in a classroom and she can't just walk away because they are acting up. It's not an every day thing, but I'm tired of hearing about it and I need to show them this ends now.

[Tiler_J]

Is it a one room day care? Or can your wife be in another class than your kids?

[realunlucky]

I just make mine stand at parade rest in the middle of the room. Whichever room I'm in.

Had this same punishment as a private in the army. I still remember it and did correct my behavior
Sent from my C771 using Tapatalk 2

[flight control]

Is it a one room day care? Or can your wife be in another class than your kids?

Three rooms divided by age. Babies, preschool and afterschool. She has the older kids.

[Redbeard]

If ya cant discipline em when they screw up, you're screwed my friend

[assateague]

It was my impression that they were doing this all the time. That's not the case? Just when they're at school? I read it to mean that they were picking up bad habits at daycare, not that they were only doing it at daycare. If so, I agree with Red. You're kinda fucked.

[3legged_lab]

Just keep on em, let em know you're serious. I think they'll grow out of it.... hopefully.

[Mornin Beef]

try giving them beanie babies and then taking them away, IDK

[Feelin' Fowl]

Change the WiFi password.


Wait...does Canada have WiFi?

[one2many]

Change the WiFi password.


Wait...does Canada have WiFi?

hahaha

me and the daughter beat on each other for a couple hours tonight. the night ended with us both happy we have each other.

[jehler]

When my kids were that age I could make them cry by changing the tone of my voice, you must be to soft, a simple "do you want me to tell your father your acting like this when we get home" would remedy the problem if you had your scariness level where it should be

[flight control]

Change the WiFi password.


Wait...does Canada have WiFi?

Yes we have WiFi. Ass.
That's later. My three and six year olds have no use for the interwebs right now.

[flight control]

When my kids were that age I could make them cry by changing the tone of my voice, you must be to soft, a simple "do you want me to tell your father your acting like this when we get home" would remedy the problem if you had your scariness level where it should be

IDK, I've seen my mother get upset when I discipline my kids. And she was the strictest parent I knew as a kid. I am in no way soft on my kids, nothing slides in this house. But right now, their rooms are spotless, the TV is off for the day, no friends, no outside and as soon as the store opens, we are going to get loose leaf so Erin can write apology letters to the kid she threw sand at, her mother and each one of the other daycare workers, which she will deliver later in the day. And I've informed them that if I'm not satisfied with their behaviour, they will not be going to visit their cousins or going to the pool with them, causing me to cancel my plans yet again to stay home and discipline them. Too soft Jehler?

[jehler]

Yes, too soft, all the things you listed (besides the letter) as punishment are things your kids should be doing anyway, although I'm sure the atmosphere they are doing the isn't pleasant I never like using regular chores as punishment, not saying jr hasn't ever cleaned his room in a frenzy while I barked like a drill sergeant but its not really effective punishment, just makes them hate their chores. I reserved spankings for things that were serious and only if they were caught in the act, lying, or intentionally fucking something up or the like. In a situation like you described when momma came home with them my wife would make them stand and tell me how they acted, I would hang my head low and stare into their soul while they told me, then I would have said hoe horrible that makes me feel, that we are Ehlers and we are good people, not the kind of people who do things like that, I then would tell them calmly to go to their rooms and be quiet and leave the doors open. That would probably be it unless one of them got shitty and copped an attitude, then things get loud.

Parenting advice is tough, kids are all different, households are all different, trust your gut and try and keep your patience. If you do loose your temper capitalize on it and let it flow, a little fear is good

[Tomkat]

I came up in the old school.

If I fucked up, I got my ass whipped. There was not a lot of discussion or negoiation.

In time, the fear of an ass whipping was sufficient to control me.


Having never had kids, I can't say, but as a kid who recivied the belt on many occasions, it is a great attention getter.

[(MT)Montanafowler]

If you do loose your temper capitalize on it and let it flow, a little fear is good ;)

still remember the time my dad threw a chair through a window, he turned to me slowly and said "you're lucky i killed the window and chair instead of you." i was convinced i was going to die for 3 days!

fear works.

[flight control]

Yes, too soft, all the things you listed (besides the letter) as punishment are things your kids should be doing anyway, although I'm sure the atmosphere they are doing the isn't pleasant I never like using regular chores as punishment, not saying jr hasn't ever cleaned his room in a frenzy while I barked like a drill sergeant but its not really effective punishment, just makes them hate their chores. I reserved spankings for things that were serious and only if they were caught in the act, lying, or intentionally fucking something up or the like. In a situation like you described when momma came home with them my wife would make them stand and tell me how they acted, I would hang my head low and stare into their soul while they told me, then I would have said hoe horrible that makes me feel, that we are Ehlers and we are good people, not the kind of people who do things like that, I then would tell them calmly to go to their rooms and be quiet and leave the doors open. That would probably be it unless one of them got shitty and copped an attitude, then things get loud.

Parenting advice is tough, kids are all different, households are all different, trust your gut and try and keep your patience. If you do loose your temper capitalize on it and let it flow, a little fear is good

Thanks for the advice man. From what I've seen, you've done an awesone job with yours. I see what you mean about the chores, but this time, I was extra harsh about it, everything is perfect in there. I agree, from now on, regular chores are not a punshment. Erin is writing her first of four appology letters now. Doesn't look like much fun at all.

[assateague]

Make sure you tear up at least two of them and make her do them again.

[jehler]

Yes, too soft, all the things you listed (besides the letter) as punishment are things your kids should be doing anyway, although I'm sure the atmosphere they are doing the isn't pleasant I never like using regular chores as punishment, not saying jr hasn't ever cleaned his room in a frenzy while I barked like a drill sergeant but its not really effective punishment, just makes them hate their chores. I reserved spankings for things that were serious and only if they were caught in the act, lying, or intentionally fucking something up or the like. In a situation like you described when momma came home with them my wife would make them stand and tell me how they acted, I would hang my head low and stare into their soul while they told me, then I would have said hoe horrible that makes me feel, that we are Ehlers and we are good people, not the kind of people who do things like that, I then would tell them calmly to go to their rooms and be quiet and leave the doors open. That would probably be it unless one of them got shitty and copped an attitude, then things get loud.

Parenting advice is tough, kids are all different, households are all different, trust your gut and try and keep your patience. If you do loose your temper capitalize on it and let it flow, a little fear is good

Thanks for the advice man. From what I've seen, you've done an awesone job with yours. I see what you mean about the chores, but this time, I was extra harsh about it, everything is perfect in there. I agree, from now on, regular chores are not a punshment. Erin is writing her first of four appology letters now. Doesn't look like much fun at all.

the letters seem good, anything that makes them think about it, I remember as a kid being sent to my room by my mom to think about what i did and giggling like hell because i didn't get spanked and im now only thinking about the model or estes rocket or whatever other thing i had in my hand. My old man on the other hand, when he talked it had effect, he was always honest, brutally so and had my utmost respect, having him disappointed in me was worse than a beating anyday.

Ive probably been to hard on jr, hes a great kid don't get me wrong but damn near everything has always come easy to me, my patience is short and my personality so damn crass, I'm not that good of a teacher because of it, always expecting perfection... i do my best though and he and I have great mutual respect for each other, hard to ask for more than that. one thing about jr, the kid could have a doctorate in shit talking, between his uncle kermit and myself he's picked up some pretty abrasive humor