Well now I feel like an...
Posted: Mon Nov 18, 2013 7:59 pm...asshole. It all started a week ago when Sam screamed like a little girl after two rats ran across the garage floor right in front of him. So I promised momma, who hates rats with a passion, that I'd pick up some rat traps. Don't know why I didn't already have some laying around.
Two days go by and I haven't got the traps yet...cause I'm busy hunting. She buys the traps. I set the traps with peanut butter. Little bastards licked em clean without even setting off the traps. And that night momma heard em scratching around in the attic with her super power hearing. Next day I reset em with cheese. Next morning they had eaten the cheese, setting off one trap, but no dead rat.
I decided to admit defeat and live with the rats. Momma said she was going down to the store to get poison since I was at work. Ok. Instead she comes back with these little trays cover in some REAL sticky...stuff. Alittle food in the middle. I'm sure y'all have seen em. Supposedly once they step on the tray they can't get off. I set em up that evening. Next morning I see little foot prints in the sticky stuff where they had walked around in it...but didn't stick to it. Before I can shit can those, Cadee steps in one! Hilarious. She came walking into the house like she was wearing a snow shoe.
Momma hears rats in attic again that night. And buys ray poison the next day. I set the poison up one in attic and one on shelf in garage. Momma doesn't hear rats that night.
Fast forward to saturday. My daughters hamster, Hammie, escapes from it cage. Somewhere in the house. No one can find it. Bummer. But I'm thinking "ah it'll show up soon."
So today momma calls me and says she swears she's hearing a rat in the kitchen behind the fridge. Ok great. I tell her it's Hammie. She's not convinced. Swears its a rat. I try and tell her rats are for the most part nocturnal and it's gotta be Hammie. She's not convinced. I come home at lunch and look behind the fridge. Turds. I can't tell the difference between rat and hamster turds. But momma apparently can and says they're rat turds. Again I try, but I can't convince her otherwise. There is a small square hole under the cabinets where I had taken the old trim off when I put in the floors. I havent put new trim up yet. She insists the rat's inside and wants me to poison the hole. I tell her all I'm gonna do is poison Hammie. She's wound up about it and just wants it done.
So i cut an old piece of trim. Put the poison about a foot back in the hole. I get up to grab the trim, hammer and two nails to cover the hole. I get back down and shine my flashlight in the hole one more time and low and behold there's Hammie eating the poison. Shit! Too late for the little guy now. I cover the hole as he's looking at me with his cute little beady eyes as if to say "Goodbye."
I never cared much about Hammie. Our relationship was limited to him looking up at me from his cage whenever I walked by. Anna, my daughter, rarely played with him anymore. And like most of y'all, I've killed countless animals over the years. But I really feel like an asshole right now.
Rest in Peace Hammie
Two days go by and I haven't got the traps yet...cause I'm busy hunting. She buys the traps. I set the traps with peanut butter. Little bastards licked em clean without even setting off the traps. And that night momma heard em scratching around in the attic with her super power hearing. Next day I reset em with cheese. Next morning they had eaten the cheese, setting off one trap, but no dead rat.
I decided to admit defeat and live with the rats. Momma said she was going down to the store to get poison since I was at work. Ok. Instead she comes back with these little trays cover in some REAL sticky...stuff. Alittle food in the middle. I'm sure y'all have seen em. Supposedly once they step on the tray they can't get off. I set em up that evening. Next morning I see little foot prints in the sticky stuff where they had walked around in it...but didn't stick to it. Before I can shit can those, Cadee steps in one! Hilarious. She came walking into the house like she was wearing a snow shoe.
Momma hears rats in attic again that night. And buys ray poison the next day. I set the poison up one in attic and one on shelf in garage. Momma doesn't hear rats that night.
Fast forward to saturday. My daughters hamster, Hammie, escapes from it cage. Somewhere in the house. No one can find it. Bummer. But I'm thinking "ah it'll show up soon."
So today momma calls me and says she swears she's hearing a rat in the kitchen behind the fridge. Ok great. I tell her it's Hammie. She's not convinced. Swears its a rat. I try and tell her rats are for the most part nocturnal and it's gotta be Hammie. She's not convinced. I come home at lunch and look behind the fridge. Turds. I can't tell the difference between rat and hamster turds. But momma apparently can and says they're rat turds. Again I try, but I can't convince her otherwise. There is a small square hole under the cabinets where I had taken the old trim off when I put in the floors. I havent put new trim up yet. She insists the rat's inside and wants me to poison the hole. I tell her all I'm gonna do is poison Hammie. She's wound up about it and just wants it done.
So i cut an old piece of trim. Put the poison about a foot back in the hole. I get up to grab the trim, hammer and two nails to cover the hole. I get back down and shine my flashlight in the hole one more time and low and behold there's Hammie eating the poison. Shit! Too late for the little guy now. I cover the hole as he's looking at me with his cute little beady eyes as if to say "Goodbye."
I never cared much about Hammie. Our relationship was limited to him looking up at me from his cage whenever I walked by. Anna, my daughter, rarely played with him anymore. And like most of y'all, I've killed countless animals over the years. But I really feel like an asshole right now.
Rest in Peace Hammie
