Lying traffic cops

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Lying traffic cops

Postby RonE » Tue Feb 11, 2014 11:25 pm

A mature (over 80) lady gets pulled over for speeding...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

Don't Mess With Mature Ladies
"Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and promoted by mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a piece of shit by the clean end."
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Re: Lying traffic cops

Postby R. Chapman » Tue Feb 11, 2014 11:27 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
assateague wrote:Sometimes the quickest way to put out a fire is with an explosion.
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Re: Lying traffic cops

Postby Redbeard » Tue Feb 11, 2014 11:28 pm

Haha
gila-river wrote:Great, now the cops want to install dishwashers to. Just do your job Red and stop encroaching on our rights to replace appliances. That is not the responsibility of police.:lol:
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Re: Lying traffic cops

Postby GadwallGetter530 » Tue Feb 11, 2014 11:30 pm

Fuckin highway hogs.:lol:
Who really runs the prison? The inmates or the guards?
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Re: Lying traffic cops

Postby NuffDaddy » Tue Feb 11, 2014 11:31 pm

Hahah. That's good!!
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Re: Lying traffic cops

Postby 3legged_lab » Tue Feb 11, 2014 11:55 pm

:lol:
Bootlipkiller wrote: all the mallards I killed today had boners do to my epic calling.
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