On the first day...

Place for general and off topic Waterfowl talk.

On the first day...

Postby DComeaux » Tue Apr 10, 2018 8:23 am

On the first day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"

And God saw it was good.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."

The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"
And God, again saw it was good.

On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"

And God agreed it was good.

On the fourth day, God created humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."

But the human said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."

So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as a public service. If you are looking for me, I will be on the front porch.
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Re: On the first day...

Postby Rick » Tue Apr 10, 2018 10:27 am

Someone had their thinking cap on.
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Re: On the first day...

Postby aunt betty » Tue Apr 10, 2018 11:02 am

DComeaux wrote:
On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family.


Good joke buddy but I'm having a wee bit of trouble with the having calves and giving milk part.
Plus I'm sort of past that and am at the monkey stage so...
I've heard that it's incredibly stupid to fuck around with a crazy man's head.
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Re: On the first day...

Postby DComeaux » Tue Apr 10, 2018 1:09 pm

I'm early monkey stage, with tab of barking from the porch.
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