Remodeling my Lawn

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Re: Remodeling my Lawn

Postby BrewGUN » Thu Jul 10, 2014 6:40 am

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Re: Remodeling my Lawn

Postby Eric Haynes » Thu Jul 10, 2014 6:59 am

BrewGUN wrote:This thread...
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No kidding Brew. This isn't posted in the blind. Stay on topic or get the fuck out.
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Re: Remodeling my Lawn

Postby assateague » Thu Jul 10, 2014 7:43 am

I will say that putting fertilizer stakes in a lawn is one of the dumbest fucking things I've ever heard :lol: But seriously, if you haven't planted the zoysia yet, don't. You won't be happy with it. Seriously.
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Re: Remodeling my Lawn

Postby Eric Haynes » Thu Jul 10, 2014 8:26 am

assateague wrote:I will say that putting fertilizer stakes in a lawn is one of the dumbest fucking things I've ever heard :lol: But seriously, if you haven't planted the zoysia yet, don't. You won't be happy with it. Seriously.


Curt from my AG store is assuring me that it is the best option for my area. What's funny is that I told him I knew a golf course manager that told me it was no good and he told me, I shit you not "grass is grass.". I laughed my ass off.

Lawn work is so simple yet I am getting stuck selecting seed. The guy who tilled it for me also does golf courses and wants to do bent grass. Probably too much upkeep for me though.
Whoever appeals to the law against his fellow man is either a fool or a coward. Whoever cannot take care of himself without that law is both. For a wounded man shall say to his assailant, "If I live, I will kill you. If I die, you are forgiven." Such is the rule of honor.
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Re: Remodeling my Lawn

Postby FlintRiverFowler » Thu Jul 10, 2014 8:32 am

Eric Haynes wrote:
assateague wrote:I will say that putting fertilizer stakes in a lawn is one of the dumbest fucking things I've ever heard :lol: But seriously, if you haven't planted the zoysia yet, don't. You won't be happy with it. Seriously.


Curt from my AG store is assuring me that it is the best option for my area. What's funny is that I told him I knew a golf course manager that told me it was no good and he told me, I shit you not "grass is grass.". I laughed my ass off.

Lawn work is so simple yet I am getting stuck selecting seed. The guy who tilled it for me also does golf courses and wants to do bent grass. Probably too much upkeep for me though.

When Curt at the ag store told you to put plant food stakes in the ground.
I laughed my ass off.
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Re: Remodeling my Lawn

Postby DeadEye_Dan » Thu Jul 10, 2014 8:39 am

Ammonium Sulfate. Do it.
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Re: Remodeling my Lawn

Postby Eric Haynes » Thu Jul 10, 2014 9:36 am

FlintRiverFowler wrote:
Eric Haynes wrote:
assateague wrote:I will say that putting fertilizer stakes in a lawn is one of the dumbest fucking things I've ever heard :lol: But seriously, if you haven't planted the zoysia yet, don't. You won't be happy with it. Seriously.


Curt from my AG store is assuring me that it is the best option for my area. What's funny is that I told him I knew a golf course manager that told me it was no good and he told me, I shit you not "grass is grass.". I laughed my ass off.

Lawn work is so simple yet I am getting stuck selecting seed. The guy who tilled it for me also does golf courses and wants to do bent grass. Probably too much upkeep for me though.

When Curt at the ag store told you to put plant food stakes in the ground.
I laughed my ass off.


I may just scatter them all over once the grass starts growing and mulch them up with the lawn mower
Whoever appeals to the law against his fellow man is either a fool or a coward. Whoever cannot take care of himself without that law is both. For a wounded man shall say to his assailant, "If I live, I will kill you. If I die, you are forgiven." Such is the rule of honor.
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Re: Remodeling my Lawn

Postby FlintRiverFowler » Thu Jul 10, 2014 9:54 am

Eric Haynes wrote:
FlintRiverFowler wrote:
Eric Haynes wrote:
assateague wrote:I will say that putting fertilizer stakes in a lawn is one of the dumbest fucking things I've ever heard :lol: But seriously, if you haven't planted the zoysia yet, don't. You won't be happy with it. Seriously.


Curt from my AG store is assuring me that it is the best option for my area. What's funny is that I told him I knew a golf course manager that told me it was no good and he told me, I shit you not "grass is grass.". I laughed my ass off.

Lawn work is so simple yet I am getting stuck selecting seed. The guy who tilled it for me also does golf courses and wants to do bent grass. Probably too much upkeep for me though.

When Curt at the ag store told you to put plant food stakes in the ground.
I laughed my ass off.


I may just scatter them all over once the grass starts growing and mulch them up with the lawn mower

Oh For fucks sake.
I'll be waiting for the "curt from ace hardware totally fucked me" thread.
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Re: Remodeling my Lawn

Postby FlintRiverFowler » Thu Jul 10, 2014 9:54 am

You're trolling right Eric?
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Re: Remodeling my Lawn

Postby Eric Haynes » Thu Jul 10, 2014 10:16 am

FlintRiverFowler wrote:You're trolling right Eric?


I'll admit the mulcher post was, I'm not staking my yard but I did buy the liquifeed for my house. It is 10-10-10 like you recommended.
Whoever appeals to the law against his fellow man is either a fool or a coward. Whoever cannot take care of himself without that law is both. For a wounded man shall say to his assailant, "If I live, I will kill you. If I die, you are forgiven." Such is the rule of honor.
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Re: Remodeling my Lawn

Postby Eric Haynes » Thu Jul 10, 2014 10:16 am

For my hose*
Whoever appeals to the law against his fellow man is either a fool or a coward. Whoever cannot take care of himself without that law is both. For a wounded man shall say to his assailant, "If I live, I will kill you. If I die, you are forgiven." Such is the rule of honor.
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Re: Remodeling my Lawn

Postby FlintRiverFowler » Thu Jul 10, 2014 10:42 am

Eric Haynes wrote:For my hose*

Take care of that hose... You're gonna have to keep zoysia seed really wet to get it to germinate.
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Re: Remodeling my Lawn

Postby Eric Haynes » Thu Jul 10, 2014 11:39 am

FlintRiverFowler wrote:
Eric Haynes wrote:For my hose*

Take care of that hose... You're gonna have to keep zoysia seed really wet to get it to germinate.


I have unlimited water. Last year my sprinkler ran 24/7 for about 3 months.

Another question. I was thinking about getting the black hose with the holes in it and burying it 4" under for irrigation. Yay or nay?
Whoever appeals to the law against his fellow man is either a fool or a coward. Whoever cannot take care of himself without that law is both. For a wounded man shall say to his assailant, "If I live, I will kill you. If I die, you are forgiven." Such is the rule of honor.
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Re: Remodeling my Lawn

Postby FlintRiverFowler » Thu Jul 10, 2014 11:59 am

Eric Haynes wrote:
FlintRiverFowler wrote:
Eric Haynes wrote:For my hose*

Take care of that hose... You're gonna have to keep zoysia seed really wet to get it to germinate.


I have unlimited water. Last year my sprinkler ran 24/7 for about 3 months.

Another question. I was thinking about getting the black hose with the holes in it and burying it 4" under for irrigation. Yay or nay?

If you're gonna trench and bury water line you're better off putting sprinklers in.
A water line like that will only water where it's at so you'd have a cool zigzag pattern of lush grass on your lawn. Everything for turf grass is better when applications are uniform.
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Re: Remodeling my Lawn

Postby FlintRiverFowler » Thu Jul 10, 2014 12:00 pm

Are you fucking with me?
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Re: Remodeling my Lawn

Postby The Duck Hammer » Thu Jul 10, 2014 12:41 pm

Eric Haynes wrote:
FlintRiverFowler wrote:
Eric Haynes wrote:For my hose*

Take care of that hose... You're gonna have to keep zoysia seed really wet to get it to germinate.


I have unlimited water. Last year my sprinkler ran 24/7 for about 3 months.

Another question. I was thinking about getting the black hose with the holes in it and burying it 4" under for irrigation. Yay or nay?


Sounds like a good plan but put it out where it says Eric's Lawn.
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Re: Remodeling my Lawn

Postby Redbeard » Thu Jul 10, 2014 12:48 pm

Eric you are by far the worst lawnmower man ever
gila-river wrote:Great, now the cops want to install dishwashers to. Just do your job Red and stop encroaching on our rights to replace appliances. That is not the responsibility of police.:lol:
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Re: Remodeling my Lawn

Postby Eric Haynes » Thu Jul 10, 2014 1:02 pm

FlintRiverFowler wrote:Are you fucking with me?

Holy fuck I won't ask for help ever again.
Whoever appeals to the law against his fellow man is either a fool or a coward. Whoever cannot take care of himself without that law is both. For a wounded man shall say to his assailant, "If I live, I will kill you. If I die, you are forgiven." Such is the rule of honor.
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Re: Remodeling my Lawn

Postby Redbeard » Thu Jul 10, 2014 1:05 pm

No idea why you came here in the first place when ya got Curt's vast knowledge and public speaking skills to draw from
gila-river wrote:Great, now the cops want to install dishwashers to. Just do your job Red and stop encroaching on our rights to replace appliances. That is not the responsibility of police.:lol:
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Re: Remodeling my Lawn

Postby DeadEye_Dan » Thu Jul 10, 2014 1:33 pm

Yeah, drip tape in a lawn is a bad idea.
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Re: Remodeling my Lawn

Postby FlintRiverFowler » Thu Jul 10, 2014 1:41 pm

Eric Haynes wrote:
FlintRiverFowler wrote:Are you fucking with me?

Holy fuck I won't ask for help ever again.

Wtf
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Re: Remodeling my Lawn

Postby RonE » Thu Jul 10, 2014 2:09 pm

FlintRiverFowler wrote:
Eric Haynes wrote:
FlintRiverFowler wrote:
Eric Haynes wrote:
assateague wrote:I will say that putting fertilizer stakes in a lawn is one of the dumbest fucking things I've ever heard :lol: But seriously, if you haven't planted the zoysia yet, don't. You won't be happy with it. Seriously.


Curt from my AG store is assuring me that it is the best option for my area. What's funny is that I told him I knew a golf course manager that told me it was no good and he told me, I shit you not "grass is grass.". I laughed my ass off.

Lawn work is so simple yet I am getting stuck selecting seed. The guy who tilled it for me also does golf courses and wants to do bent grass. Probably too much upkeep for me though.

When Curt at the ag store told you to put plant food stakes in the ground.
I laughed my ass off.


I may just scatter them all over once the grass starts growing and mulch them up with the lawn mower

Oh For fucks sake.
I'll be waiting for the "curt from ace hardware totally fucked me" thread.


AMEN
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Re: Remodeling my Lawn

Postby RonE » Thu Jul 10, 2014 2:12 pm

Eric Haynes wrote:
FlintRiverFowler wrote:Are you fucking with me?

Holy fuck I won't ask for help ever again.


Really? Thanks!
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Re: Remodeling my Lawn

Postby Eric Haynes » Thu Jul 10, 2014 2:17 pm

RonE wrote:
Eric Haynes wrote:
FlintRiverFowler wrote:Are you fucking with me?

Holy fuck I won't ask for help ever again.


Really? Thanks!


If I ever need guidance painting my shotgun to look more like a vagina, I will be sure to hit you up. This thread was aimed at the grass experts, so pipe the fuck down you old bitch.
Whoever appeals to the law against his fellow man is either a fool or a coward. Whoever cannot take care of himself without that law is both. For a wounded man shall say to his assailant, "If I live, I will kill you. If I die, you are forgiven." Such is the rule of honor.
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Re: Remodeling my Lawn

Postby AKPirate » Thu Jul 10, 2014 2:21 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: Remodeling my Lawn

Postby The Duck Hammer » Thu Jul 10, 2014 3:42 pm

AKPirate wrote::lol: :lol: :lol:

X2
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Re: Remodeling my Lawn

Postby FlintRiverFowler » Thu Jul 10, 2014 3:47 pm

Har Har har
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Re: Remodeling my Lawn

Postby RonE » Thu Jul 10, 2014 9:22 pm

First of all, you ain't secure enough in your manhood to hunt with a shotgun dipped in Muddy Girl camo.

Second, the only reason you didn't go to the agricultural extension agent was because you fear that someone around where you live will know how stupid you are when it comes to growing grass.

Third, you ask Flint who makes his living tending and caring for grass and then kiss his advice off because you have more faith in someone that used to work at Lowes.

I sincerely hope that your lawn turns out better than TK's boat blind.

Please post pictures in October, November, December and April of you lawn in all it's shit brown glory. In those same time periods, my shotgun will still look pink and you will get tired of seeing pictures of the awesome shotgun and the ducks killed with it. I'll even take some in the front and back yard so that you can see what a proper lawn looks like during the winter.
Last edited by RonE on Thu Jul 10, 2014 9:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Remodeling my Lawn

Postby AKPirate » Thu Jul 10, 2014 9:25 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol: Just keeps getting better
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Re: Remodeling my Lawn

Postby Redbeard » Thu Jul 10, 2014 9:30 pm

I love a good lawn care thread
gila-river wrote:Great, now the cops want to install dishwashers to. Just do your job Red and stop encroaching on our rights to replace appliances. That is not the responsibility of police.:lol:
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