Merry Christmas to me

by **Redbeard** » Thu Dec 26, 2013 10:52 am

I didn't get around to posting this yesterday.

So yesterday morning, in the middle of all my varmints and nieces opening presents, there's a knock at the door. I answer it. A sheriffs deputy.

He asks "is that your black suburban in the driveway?"

"Yes"

"Well sir the rear hatch and all the doors are wide open. We had a rash of burglaries on this street last night and I think your car got hit too."

"Fucking great" I say in the doorway loud enough for everyone to hear, making my MIL cringe.

I purposely left the doors unlocked for this reason. 3 years ago at Christmas, while the same car was parked in the same driveway, on the same fucking street, a deputy knocked on the door during present opening time to announce my misfortune. Only the car doors were locked and the fuckers busted out a rear window to get into the car...only to find out there was nothing of value to fucking steal.

So this year I purposely left the doors unlocked and removed anything of value. That way they could rummage through it and decide on whether or not to steal to diaper bag fulla diapers and ass wipes or my half full spitter.

Well at least I thought I had removed everything.

I bought my dad and brother copies of that book Shit My Dad Says and was gonna give it to em later in the day. The books were under the front passenger seat

Well the fuckers found the books under the seat and jacked em. They weren't even wrapped. It was clear they were stealing fucking books. Now theres an asshole or assholes out there who probably can't read...or read English anyway with my fucking books.

I try to keep telling myself I'm lucky I'm only out $32 total for the two books. But it chaps my ass knowing I had sit in traffic, before braving Barnes and Nobles and all the fucking yuppie trolls who frequent it two days before Christmas to find those books.

It's a real pisser too, cause my MIL lives in a generally safe and relatively white part of town with little crime.

Told my brother in law that next Christmas we're "laying in wait" for those fuckers and I'm gonna beat the shit outta them until I get my 32 dollars worth of books back

Merry Christmas

by **ManlyMan** » Thu Dec 26, 2013 10:59 am

I know the feeling. My brothers car was stolen on Saturday. Smashed the window with a rock, hotwired it, then totaled it while joyriding in the hood.

Meanwhile the police were nice enough to charge us $150 to get it out of the impound lot.

Fuckers.

by **assateague** » Thu Dec 26, 2013 11:01 am

Damn straight. A beating is in order. As is never going to the in-laws again.

by **3legged_lab** » Thu Dec 26, 2013 11:01 am

Damn! That sucks red. At least you plan to avoid broken glass worked out?

You guys make fun of me for parking under a tree, I guess ill make fun of you for parking in Bakersfield.

by **Olly** » Thu Dec 26, 2013 11:04 am

ManlyMan wrote:I know the feeling. My brothers car was stolen on Saturday. Smashed the window with a rock, hotwired it, then totaled it while joyriding in the hood.

Meanwhile the police were nice enough to charge us $150 to get it out of the impound lot.

Fuckers.

You can't be serious.

by **ManlyMan** » Thu Dec 26, 2013 11:10 am

Olly wrote:
ManlyMan wrote:I know the feeling. My brothers car was stolen on Saturday. Smashed the window with a rock, hotwired it, then totaled it while joyriding in the hood.

Meanwhile the police were nice enough to charge us $150 to get it out of the impound lot.

Fuckers.

You can't be serious.

As a heart attack.

It was awful. The worst part is the police are just like, "eh."

Actually the worst part is the car just had liability on it since it was a 2000 jeep. And now my parents have to buy a new car.

by **assateague** » Thu Dec 26, 2013 11:12 am

Doc, please re-read your last sentence. Thank you.

by **Redbeard** » Thu Dec 26, 2013 11:14 am

assateague wrote:Doc, please re-read your last sentence. Thank you.

Haha

by **Redbeard** » Thu Dec 26, 2013 11:15 am

ManlyMan wrote:I know the feeling. My brothers car was stolen on Saturday. Smashed the window with a rock, hotwired it, then totaled it while joyriding in the hood.

Meanwhile the police were nice enough to charge us $150 to get it out of the impound lot.

Fuckers.

did the police hand you a bill or did the tow company hand you a bill? And if it was totaled, why did you have to pay $150 to get it out?

by **DeadEye_Dan** » Thu Dec 26, 2013 11:16 am

You need to stick a 110 under the seat next time with a chain to a bolt running through the floorboards.

Then Jim can show up and hit him between the eyes with his stick and stand on his chest

by **Redbeard** » Thu Dec 26, 2013 11:17 am

assateague wrote:Damn straight. A beating is in order. As is never going to the in-laws again.

I grew up here too...well outside of town...out in dairy country. Funny how the country folks don't get fucked with much

by **ManlyMan** » Thu Dec 26, 2013 11:19 am

Redbeard wrote:
ManlyMan wrote:I know the feeling. My brothers car was stolen on Saturday. Smashed the window with a rock, hotwired it, then totaled it while joyriding in the hood.

Meanwhile the police were nice enough to charge us $150 to get it out of the impound lot.

Fuckers.
did the police hand you a bill or did the tow company hand you a bill? And if it was totaled, why did you have to pay $150 to get it out?

We wanted it back to part that bitch out to at least recover some cost.

by **Redbeard** » Thu Dec 26, 2013 11:21 am

ManlyMan wrote:
Redbeard wrote:
ManlyMan wrote:I know the feeling. My brothers car was stolen on Saturday. Smashed the window with a rock, hotwired it, then totaled it while joyriding in the hood.

Meanwhile the police were nice enough to charge us $150 to get it out of the impound lot.

Fuckers.
did the police hand you a bill or did the tow company hand you a bill? And if it was totaled, why did you have to pay $150 to get it out?

We wanted it back to part that bitch out to at least recover some cost.

well unfortunately the tow companies don't work for free. So yea I've told a lot of people in the same boat who refuse to understand "eh" myself

by **Redbeard** » Thu Dec 26, 2013 11:23 am

Olly wrote:
ManlyMan wrote:I know the feeling. My brothers car was stolen on Saturday. Smashed the window with a rock, hotwired it, then totaled it while joyriding in the hood.

Meanwhile the police were nice enough to charge us $150 to get it out of the impound lot.

Fuckers.

You can't be serious.

relax olly. Start your meditation. We don't need your blood pressure spiking again

by **OGblackcloud** » Thu Dec 26, 2013 11:28 am

by **ManlyMan** » Thu Dec 26, 2013 11:28 am

assateague wrote:Doc, please re-read your last sentence. Thank you.

my mom has been saving up for an Acura MDX and now she'll have to wait longer because they have to replace the jeep.

#whiteproblems

by **Deltaman** » Thu Dec 26, 2013 11:31 am

Damn thieves :twisted:

If caught and convicted, at the very least, they should bear a mark on their face for all to see, a Scarlett letter of sorts. If caught a second time, relieve them of a hand, with no opportunity to sign up for free gov't goodies because of a disability. Third strike, cut their nuts off so they can't breed..............thieves and liars, scum of the earth!

by **QH's Paw** » Thu Dec 26, 2013 11:58 am

Doc, I thought you said it was your brother's rig. Why are your parents......nevermind.

by **JGUN** » Thu Dec 26, 2013 12:31 pm

DeadEye_Dan wrote:You need to stick a 110 under the seat next time with a chain to a bolt running through the floorboards.

Then Jim can show up and hit him between the eyes with his stick and stand on his chest

I like this idea best. Make sure there is video too!

by **Olly** » Thu Dec 26, 2013 1:06 pm

QH's Paw wrote:Doc, I thought you said it was your brother's rig. Why are your parents......nevermind.

by **assateague** » Thu Dec 26, 2013 1:46 pm

ManlyMan wrote:
assateague wrote:Doc, please re-read your last sentence. Thank you.
my mom has been saving up for an Acura MDX and now she'll have to wait longer because they have to replace the jeep.

#whiteproblems

by **3legged_lab** » Thu Dec 26, 2013 2:06 pm

ManlyMan wrote:
Olly wrote:
ManlyMan wrote:I know the feeling. My brothers car was stolen on Saturday. Smashed the window with a rock, hotwired it, then totaled it while joyriding in the hood.

Meanwhile the police were nice enough to charge us $150 to get it out of the impound lot.

Fuckers.

You can't be serious.

As a heart attack.

It was awful. The worst part is the police are just like, "eh."

Actually the worst part is the car just had liability on it since it was a 2000 jeep. And now my parents have to buy a new car.

You guys can't afford full coverage?

by **ManlyMan** » Thu Dec 26, 2013 2:15 pm

Don't make no sense to spend hundreds of dollars a year for a vehicle worth 3,500 bucks. All of the newer cars have full.

by **Olly** » Thu Dec 26, 2013 2:20 pm

ManlyMan wrote:
Olly wrote:
ManlyMan wrote:I know the feeling. My brothers car was stolen on Saturday. Smashed the window with a rock, hotwired it, then totaled it while joyriding in the hood.

Meanwhile the police were nice enough to charge us $150 to get it out of the impound lot.

Fuckers.

You can't be serious.

As a heart attack.

It was awful. The worst part is the police are just like, "eh."

Actually the worst part is the car just had liability on it since it was a 2000 jeep. And now my parents have to buy a new car.

Would have left it there and just told my insurance it was stolen. Let that be the end of it.

by **Redbeard** » Thu Dec 26, 2013 2:43 pm

Olly wrote:
ManlyMan wrote:
Olly wrote:
ManlyMan wrote:I know the feeling. My brothers car was stolen on Saturday. Smashed the window with a rock, hotwired it, then totaled it while joyriding in the hood.

Meanwhile the police were nice enough to charge us $150 to get it out of the impound lot.

Fuckers.

You can't be serious.

As a heart attack.

It was awful. The worst part is the police are just like, "eh."

Actually the worst part is the car just had liability on it since it was a 2000 jeep. And now my parents have to buy a new car.

Would have left it there and just told my insurance it was stolen. Let that be the end of it.

except that insurance companies wanna see a police report. And the police will tow it if they find it dumped in the middle of someones street and notify the owner

by **RonE** » Thu Dec 26, 2013 2:59 pm

Fucking thieves. Joe Hunt had the right idea. Unfortunately California laws are so fucked up with regards to the rights of thieves that you would go to jail.

by **Tiler_J** » Thu Dec 26, 2013 3:27 pm

RonE wrote:Fucking thieves. Joe Hunt had the right idea. Unfortunately California laws are so fucked up with regards to the rights of thieves that you would go to jail.

Yeah, yeah, we all know, Texas is great.

by **QH's Paw** » Thu Dec 26, 2013 6:21 pm

Tiler_J wrote:
RonE wrote:Fucking thieves. Joe Hunt had the right idea. Unfortunately California laws are so fucked up with regards to the rights of thieves that you would go to jail.

Yeah, yeah, we all know, Texas is great.

by **ManlyMan** » Thu Dec 26, 2013 6:23 pm

TEXAS!!

by **3legged_lab** » Thu Dec 26, 2013 9:20 pm

ManlyMan wrote:Don't make no sense to spend hundreds of dollars a year for a vehicle worth 3,500 bucks. All of the newer cars have full.

Well then, it don't make no sense to cry over a 3,500 dollar vehicle now does it?