Crazy things old people say

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Crazy things old people say

Postby Woody » Thu Mar 14, 2013 5:47 am

My grandpa has tons of sayings but here are some of his gems...

"Finer than frog hair"

"Lonelier than Toby's hind leg"

Next one needs some context:
Whenever my grandma says "We" are doing something, referring to her and my grandpa, he says...

"Who, you and the tird in your pocket?"

Does anyone else have an old timer with their own lingo?
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Re: Crazy things old people say

Postby Eric Haynes » Thu Mar 14, 2013 6:06 am

Woody wrote:My grandpa has tons of sayings but here are some of his gems...

"Finer than frog hair"

"Lonelier than Toby's hind leg"

Next one needs some context:
Whenever my grandma says "We" are doing something, referring to her and my grandpa, he says...

"Who, you and the tird in your pocket?"

Does anyone else have an old timer with their own lingo?

Not besides the saying Kmarts, walmarts, lowles, warsh...

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Re: Crazy things old people say

Postby Woody » Thu Mar 14, 2013 6:07 am

Eric Haynes wrote:
Woody wrote:My grandpa has tons of sayings but here are some of his gems...

"Finer than frog hair"

"Lonelier than Toby's hind leg"

Next one needs some context:
Whenever my grandma says "We" are doing something, referring to her and my grandpa, he says...

"Who, you and the tird in your pocket?"

Does anyone else have an old timer with their own lingo?

Not besides the saying Kmarts, walmarts, lowles, warsh...

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Mine do too, I always wonder why they add s to the end...
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Re: Crazy things old people say

Postby flight control » Thu Mar 14, 2013 8:03 am

I was looking for a tool in my granparents basement one time and I heard a pot boil over on the stove. Next thing I hear is my grandfather yell " I run all my life for a fuckin potatoe, I aint gonna run today." That must have been 10+ years ago, and I still laugh whenever I remember it.

I miss that old man.
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Re: Crazy things old people say

Postby Bulldog0156 » Thu Mar 14, 2013 8:46 am

The words Bastardf*cker and Tittybags
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Re: Crazy things old people say

Postby quacknstack6 » Thu Mar 14, 2013 8:47 am

You're like a sore pecker boy, hard to beat.
Replacing that tranny was harder than a wedding dick.
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Re: Crazy things old people say

Postby aunt betty » Thu Mar 14, 2013 9:39 am

Dain Bramaged.
Crazy like a fox.
Need to talk to a man about a horse.
Don't tell grandma about this.

That's about as exciting as it got around my grandpa. Old mule-driver and coal-miner. Very religious. Never heard him say a swear word.
I've heard that it's incredibly stupid to fuck around with a crazy man's head.
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Re: Crazy things old people say

Postby Woody » Thu Mar 14, 2013 10:30 am

quacknstack6 wrote:You're like a sore pecker boy, hard to beat.
Replacing that tranny was harder than a wedding dick.


Those are some classics!
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: Crazy things old people say

Postby Woody » Thu Mar 14, 2013 10:31 am

flight control wrote:I was looking for a tool in my granparents basement one time and I heard a pot boil over on the stove. Next thing I hear is my grandfather yell " I run all my life for a fuckin potatoe, I aint gonna run today." That must have been 10+ years ago, and I still laugh whenever I remember it.

I miss that old man.


I don't blame him...
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Re: Crazy things old people say

Postby bill herian » Thu Mar 14, 2013 10:38 am

"Speak now or forever hold your groin."

"I didn't know whether to shit or wind my watch."
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Re: Crazy things old people say

Postby Redbeard » Thu Mar 14, 2013 11:13 am

Not to many whitty sayings. Other than calling everyone a N(**edited by mods)r he would call his tools "goddammits." "Hey son grab me that goddammit over there"
gila-river wrote:Great, now the cops want to install dishwashers to. Just do your job Red and stop encroaching on our rights to replace appliances. That is not the responsibility of police.:lol:
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Re: Crazy things old people say

Postby DeadEye_Dan » Thu Mar 14, 2013 11:25 am

Grandpa on hot weather: "Hotter than 2 rats screwing in a wool sock"

Grandpa on business and risk management: "don't really matter how deep the water is if you can swim"
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Re: Crazy things old people say

Postby Woody » Thu Mar 14, 2013 11:36 am

DeadEye_Dan wrote:Grandpa on hot weather: "Hotter than 2 rats screwing in a wool sock"

Grandpa on business and risk management: "don't really matter how deep the water is if you can swim"

:lol:
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Re: Crazy things old people say

Postby Woody » Thu Mar 14, 2013 11:41 am

Redbeard wrote:Not to many whitty sayings. Other than calling everyone a N(**edited by mods)r he would call his tools "goddammits." "Hey son grab me that goddammit over there"


My grandpa is one of the nicest guys, and I have never seem show a hint of racism towards people, but...

He will kill any black squirrel that comes near his property.

And just recently I was looking at lab puppies... I was looking at chocolate and black...

He told me "never by anything but a yellow, they are smarter, easier to train, mellower tempered, and better behaved"

I asked, "how do you figure?"

He said, "just think about it"
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Re: Crazy things old people say

Postby Redbeard » Thu Mar 14, 2013 11:57 am

Woody wrote:
Redbeard wrote:Not to many whitty sayings. Other than calling everyone a N(**edited by mods)r he would call his tools "goddammits." "Hey son grab me that goddammit over there"


My grandpa is one of the nicest guys, and I have never seem show a hint of racism towards people, but...

He will kill any black squirrel that comes near his property.

And just recently I was looking at lab puppies... I was looking at chocolate and black...

He told me "never by anything but a yellow, they are smarter, easier to train, mellower tempered, and better behaved"

I asked, "how do you figure?"

He said, "just think about it"

I still remember a talk we had. Because I played basketball my whole life and he knew it, he felt the need to explain to me that he wasn't racist and that it was just the way he was raised in Arkansas. He really was a decent man. Just grew up in that era
gila-river wrote:Great, now the cops want to install dishwashers to. Just do your job Red and stop encroaching on our rights to replace appliances. That is not the responsibility of police.:lol:
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Re: Crazy things old people say

Postby Eric Haynes » Thu Mar 14, 2013 12:15 pm

They all used that language back then. It was normal. My aunt is married to a black guy, so my grandfather has watched his mouth for a good 30-40 years:lol::lol:



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Re: Crazy things old people say

Postby jarbo03 » Thu Mar 14, 2013 1:05 pm

Raining like pouring piss out of a boot. My gramps was fron Arkansas too, shit was funny.

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Re: Crazy things old people say

Postby obxbufflehead » Thu Mar 14, 2013 1:06 pm

My granddad is from Poland. He doesn't say anything funny.
MOhuntingGuy wrote:I bet they were home schooled and lack the necessary social skills in life to take a joke.
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Re: Crazy things old people say

Postby quacknstack6 » Thu Mar 14, 2013 1:08 pm

Boy use that thing on your shoulders for more than a hat rack.
Watched my dad get hit in the head by the arm of a clay pigeon thrower. He sprayed WD40 on the trigger spring and it released, after he knew what happened he told me. "If I was any less of a man I would have been knocked the fuck out." From that day I knew if ever come the time to put the ol man down I would be forced to eat plenty of wheaties that morning.

"Boy you're like a damn farm mule, I need a 2x4 to get your attention."
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Tomkat wrote:AT, will you get that first pintail mounted?


I'll more than likely just mount it right there in the field.
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Re: Crazy things old people say

Postby JGUN » Thu Mar 14, 2013 1:27 pm

quacknstack6 wrote:Boy use that thing on your shoulders for more than a hat rack.
Watched my dad get hit in the head by the arm of a clay pigeon thrower. He sprayed WD40 on the trigger spring and it released, after he knew what happened he told me. "If I was any less of a man I would have been knocked the fuck out." From that day I knew if ever come the time to put the ol man down I would be forced to eat plenty of wheaties that morning.

"Boy you're like a damn farm mule, I need a 2x4 to get your attention."

Damn that must have tickled.
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Re: Crazy things old people say

Postby bill herian » Thu Mar 14, 2013 1:31 pm

obxbufflehead wrote:My granddad is from Poland. He doesn't say anything funny.


Polish people are the best. Not afraid to be the butt of a joke either. Very humorous metaphysics among the Polish.
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Re: Crazy things old people say

Postby quacknstack6 » Thu Mar 14, 2013 1:35 pm

JGUN wrote:
quacknstack6 wrote:Boy use that thing on your shoulders for more than a hat rack.
Watched my dad get hit in the head by the arm of a clay pigeon thrower. He sprayed WD40 on the trigger spring and it released, after he knew what happened he told me. "If I was any less of a man I would have been knocked the fuck out." From that day I knew if ever come the time to put the ol man down I would be forced to eat plenty of wheaties that morning.

"Boy you're like a damn farm mule, I need a 2x4 to get your attention."

Damn that must have tickled.

I would imagine, he walked inside grabbed a sweat tea and acted like nothing happened. Also watched him hit a Hereford bull across the face with a lead pipe and kill it stone dead for charging him. Craziest old man I have ever seen.
assateague wrote:
Tomkat wrote:AT, will you get that first pintail mounted?


I'll more than likely just mount it right there in the field.
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Re: Crazy things old people say

Postby obxbufflehead » Thu Mar 14, 2013 1:37 pm

bill herian wrote:
obxbufflehead wrote:My granddad is from Poland. He doesn't say anything funny.


Polish people are the best. Not afraid to be the butt of a joke either. Very humorous metaphysics among the Polish.

Not my family. Very uptight people.
MOhuntingGuy wrote:I bet they were home schooled and lack the necessary social skills in life to take a joke.
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Re: Crazy things old people say

Postby JGUN » Thu Mar 14, 2013 1:41 pm

Know any good pollock jokes?
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Re: Crazy things old people say

Postby assateague » Thu Mar 14, 2013 3:15 pm

Why'd the fish cross the road?
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Re: Crazy things old people say

Postby assateague » Thu Mar 14, 2013 3:16 pm

quacknstack6 wrote:Boy use that thing on your shoulders for more than a hat rack.
Watched my dad get hit in the head by the arm of a clay pigeon thrower. He sprayed WD40 on the trigger spring and it released, after he knew what happened he told me. "If I was any less of a man I would have been knocked the fuck out." From that day I knew if ever come the time to put the ol man down I would be forced to eat plenty of wheaties that morning.

"Boy you're like a damn farm mule, I need a 2x4 to get your attention."


I'm laughing hysterically picturing this happening.
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Re: Crazy things old people say

Postby The Duck Hammer » Thu Mar 14, 2013 3:24 pm

quacknstack6 wrote:
JGUN wrote:
quacknstack6 wrote:Boy use that thing on your shoulders for more than a hat rack.
Watched my dad get hit in the head by the arm of a clay pigeon thrower. He sprayed WD40 on the trigger spring and it released, after he knew what happened he told me. "If I was any less of a man I would have been knocked the fuck out." From that day I knew if ever come the time to put the ol man down I would be forced to eat plenty of wheaties that morning.

"Boy you're like a damn farm mule, I need a 2x4 to get your attention."

Damn that must have tickled.

I would imagine, he walked inside grabbed a sweat tea and acted like nothing happened. Also watched him hit a Hereford bull across the face with a lead pipe and kill it stone dead for charging him. Craziest old man I have ever seen.

Holy shit. I wouldnt want to piss off your dad.
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Re: Crazy things old people say

Postby Flightstopper » Thu Mar 14, 2013 3:30 pm

That boy doesn't have enough sense to pour piss from his boot.

That's handier than a pocket on a shirt.

And when you screwed up;
Do that again and I will skin you alive!
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Re: Crazy things old people say

Postby rebelp74 » Thu Mar 14, 2013 3:34 pm

You don't know your ass from a hole in the ground.
Reinstate TomKat

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Re: Crazy things old people say

Postby BrewGUN » Thu Mar 14, 2013 3:38 pm

quacknstack6 wrote:
JGUN wrote:
quacknstack6 wrote:Boy use that thing on your shoulders for more than a hat rack.
Watched my dad get hit in the head by the arm of a clay pigeon thrower. He sprayed WD40 on the trigger spring and it released, after he knew what happened he told me. "If I was any less of a man I would have been knocked the fuck out." From that day I knew if ever come the time to put the ol man down I would be forced to eat plenty of wheaties that morning.

"Boy you're like a damn farm mule, I need a 2x4 to get your attention."

Damn that must have tickled.

I would imagine, he walked inside grabbed a sweat tea and acted like nothing happened. Also watched him hit a Hereford bull across the face with a lead pipe and kill it stone dead for charging him. Craziest old man I have ever seen.

Are you sure your not related to Assa in someway?
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