Crazy things old people say

[waterfowlman]

My Grandpa: It's as cold as a witches tit in this blind.
Grandpa to us kids: Whoever's letting those green farts go....get out of my TV room!
One of my old drill sargeants when annoyed...suck out of my ass you Armenian fist fucker.
My dad when I couldn't find a tool he sent me to fetch, after he walked over and picked it right up: "If it were a snake it would have bit you."
Grandpa after I reeled in my bait to check it and found a bare hook: "Fishing on credit again eh?"

[AKPirate]

My Grandpa: It's as cold as a witches tit in this blind.
Grandpa to us kids: Whoever's letting those green farts go....get out of my TV room!
One of my old drill sargeants when annoyed...suck out of my ass you Armenian fist fucker.
My dad when I couldn't find a tool he sent me to fetch, after he walked over and picked it right up: "If it were a snake it would have bit you."
Grandpa after I reeled in my bait to check it and found a bare hook: "Fishing on credit again eh?"

Credit fishing made me laugh Rick!

[rebelp74]

You wouldn't know what to do with it if it did it for you.

[banknote]

What are you, nuckin' futs?

[banknote]

Just about every damn time my dad and I would be standing at adjacent urinals:
"Whatsamatter, need an extension cord?"

[Bootlipkiller]

(Gramps quotes) if someone is doing good. "Looks like your shit'n in tall cotton".
Driving down a bumpy road.
"A lot of (edited by mod) heads on this road"
If your taking a long piss...
"You playing with your self over there boy?"
If he's not getting any bites fishing...
"Fishy Fishy in the brook come and bite my fucking hook." Gotta sing it for it to work.

[Tiler_J]

One of my Dad's buddies use to tell me- "You are as useless as chicken shit on a pump handle!"