funny rant

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funny rant

Postby aunt betty » Wed Apr 17, 2013 7:38 am

My wife makes more than me and always has. It means she gets to be the alpha and says silly chit like, "I wear the pants in this house".

It also means I have no right to complain about ANYTHING that she does. (to her)
That is why I'm ranting here instead.

She has a few quirks that I can't talk about around her. If I point out anything she does wrong...I end up being put in the dog house for a few days and am forced to....apologize.

Little things like, "you forgot to turn the light off last nite" turns into me being PUNISHED so I have to bite my lip a lot.
Makes me angry.
I've heard that it's incredibly stupid to fuck around with a crazy man's head.
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Re: funny rant

Postby flight control » Wed Apr 17, 2013 7:45 am

Thats not because she makes more money, its because she has a vagina. 8-)
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Re: funny rant

Postby assateague » Wed Apr 17, 2013 7:51 am

When my wife does stuff like that, my reply is "fuck you, your legs broken?". I'm serious.
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Re: funny rant

Postby MuddyWaterWarlock » Wed Apr 17, 2013 7:53 am

Dang Betty, What program are you using to train her? Sounds like you went right past force fetch and collar conditioning. She isn't going to what you want until you back up and recondition. Sad letting one get this far without proper training. You might try some treats to get a better response, just be sure she doesn't become food aggressive. Wish you the best.
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Re: funny rant

Postby Woody » Wed Apr 17, 2013 9:11 am

aunt betty wrote:My wife makes more than me and always has. It means she gets to be the alpha and says silly chit like, "I wear the pants in this house".

It also means I have no right to complain about ANYTHING that she does. (to her)
That is why I'm ranting here instead.

She has a few quirks that I can't talk about around her. If I point out anything she does wrong...I end up being put in the dog house for a few days and am forced to....apologize.

Little things like, "you forgot to turn the light off last nite" turns into me being PUNISHED so I have to bite my lip a lot.
Makes me angry.


I'm with flight control, that has little to do with money... I made 3X what my ex did, she was still always right.
Its a vagina thing, they have one and they know you want to touch it and stuff.
Have you ever wondered why your dick still looks brand new, but your face is starting to look like an aging pirate?
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Re: funny rant

Postby Flightstopper » Wed Apr 17, 2013 10:16 am

assateague wrote:When my wife does stuff like that, my reply is "fuck you, your legs broken?". I'm serious.

Yup, always drive the point your equal. My wife gets it, so far....
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Re: funny rant

Postby Tomkat » Wed Apr 17, 2013 10:21 am

MuddyWaterWarlock wrote:Dang Betty, What program are you using to train her? Sounds like you went right past force fetch and collar conditioning. She isn't going to what you want until you back up and recondition. Sad letting one get this far without proper training. You might try some treats to get a better response, just be sure she doesn't become food aggressive. Wish you the best.


I have found over my 21 years as a couple that its best to pick your fights. That way when you need to dig your heels in on something that REALLy matters you can make a point to get your way.

Thats what has worked for me. Of course, I lucked out and the crazy hoes I dated when I was younger never married me.

The current model is low maintence, which makes my life much easyier on a day to day basis. As I said earlyier, I am a charming mutha fucka, that dont hurt either.
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Re: funny rant

Postby QH's Paw » Wed Apr 17, 2013 10:54 am

Flightstopper wrote:
assateague wrote:When my wife does stuff like that, my reply is "fuck you, your legs broken?". I'm serious.

Yup, always drive the point your equal. My wife gets it, so far....

And how many months or weeks has this been "working" for you? :lol: :lol: :lol:
February made 31 years for me and it is just a matter of time. At some point, she will hold the soft pink item you like as a hostage, to reign over you.
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Re: funny rant

Postby FlintRiverFowler » Wed Apr 17, 2013 10:56 am

This is why I don't allow my wife to work or leave the house or talk to her friends and family.






















Just kidding.


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Re: funny rant

Postby assateague » Wed Apr 17, 2013 10:58 am

QH's Paw wrote:
Flightstopper wrote:
assateague wrote:When my wife does stuff like that, my reply is "fuck you, your legs broken?". I'm serious.

Yup, always drive the point your equal. My wife gets it, so far....

And how many months or weeks has this been "working" for you? :lol: :lol: :lol:
February made 31 years for me and it is just a matter of time. At some point, she will hold the soft pink item you like as a hostage, to reign over you.



I'm no hostage to that. The day I'm threatened with it is the day I pull it out and start jerking right then and there. Or perhaps I'd just stop paying the cell phone bill.
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Re: funny rant

Postby QH's Paw » Wed Apr 17, 2013 11:08 am

assateague wrote:
QH's Paw wrote:
Flightstopper wrote:
assateague wrote:When my wife does stuff like that, my reply is "fuck you, your legs broken?". I'm serious.

Yup, always drive the point your equal. My wife gets it, so far....

And how many months or weeks has this been "working" for you? :lol: :lol: :lol:
February made 31 years for me and it is just a matter of time. At some point, she will hold the soft pink item you like as a hostage, to reign over you.



I'm no hostage to that. The day I'm threatened with it is the day I pull it out and start jerking right then and there. Or perhaps I'd just stop paying the cell phone bill.

Oh, I didn't say it was out right obvious when they do it. It is done in a way you don't realize at the time, usually.
Of course, you can always tell her you can get it somewhere else. That's what most internet tough guys try to convince people they do. :lol:
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Re: funny rant

Postby DeadEye_Dan » Wed Apr 17, 2013 11:11 am

You guys are fags.


I went duck hunting on my first anniversary.

I bought boats and told my wife "I'm thinking about getting a boat" when in truth, it was hooked behind my truck and I was towing it home.

I told her that I was going to Alaska to hunt, 10 days before I left.
I do what I want, when I want. I don't get asked to explain myself or justify what I'm doing. And pussy NEVER gets withheld...you know why?????











Orgasms. Bitches loooove orgasms.
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Re: funny rant

Postby Woody » Wed Apr 17, 2013 11:16 am

DeadEye_Dan wrote:You guys are fags.


I went duck hunting on my first anniversary.

I bought boats and told my wife "I'm thinking about getting a boat" when in truth, it was hooked behind my truck and I was towing it home.

I told her that I was going to Alaska to hunt, 10 days before I left.
I do what I want, when I want. I don't get asked to explain myself or justify what I'm doing. And pussy NEVER gets withheld...you know why?????











Money, bitches looooove money


Fify
Have you ever wondered why your dick still looks brand new, but your face is starting to look like an aging pirate?
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Re: funny rant

Postby QH's Paw » Wed Apr 17, 2013 11:19 am

Woody wrote:
DeadEye_Dan wrote:You guys are fags.


I went duck hunting on my first anniversary.

I bought boats and told my wife "I'm thinking about getting a boat" when in truth, it was hooked behind my truck and I was towing it home.

I told her that I was going to Alaska to hunt, 10 days before I left.
I do what I want, when I want. I don't get asked to explain myself or justify what I'm doing. And pussy NEVER gets withheld...you know why?????











Money, bitches looooove money


Fify

:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:
Looks like Woody has you figured Dan. :lol:
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Re: funny rant

Postby Tomkat » Wed Apr 17, 2013 11:24 am

Assateague, you crack me up. You are going to be the hit of the nursing home when you are old.
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Re: funny rant

Postby aunt betty » Wed Apr 17, 2013 11:29 am

[quote="DeadEye_Dan"
I do what I want, when I want. I don't get asked to explain myself or justify what I'm doing.
[/quote]I do too and that's why I'm ranting here instead of rocking the boat and making waves with her over something petty and not hunting-related. I'll do this from time to time.
Forgive me plz.
I've heard that it's incredibly stupid to fuck around with a crazy man's head.
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Re: funny rant

Postby Redbeard » Wed Apr 17, 2013 11:34 am

DeadEye_Dan wrote:You guys are fags.


I went duck hunting on my first anniversary.

I bought boats and told my wife "I'm thinking about getting a boat" when in truth, it was hooked behind my truck and I was towing it home.

I told her that I was going to Alaska to hunt, 10 days before I left.
I do what I want, when I want. I don't get asked to explain myself or justify what I'm doing. And pussy NEVER gets withheld...you know why?????











Orgasms. Bitches loooove orgasms.
x2. Dan's got it figured out. The rest of y'all need to grow a set...and learn how to satisfy the ole lady.
gila-river wrote:Great, now the cops want to install dishwashers to. Just do your job Red and stop encroaching on our rights to replace appliances. That is not the responsibility of police.:lol:
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Re: funny rant

Postby assateague » Wed Apr 17, 2013 11:36 am

Tomkat wrote:Assateague, you crack me up. You are going to be the hit of the nursing home when you are old.



No nursing home for me. Dead or at home, those are the only options. Hopefully I've raised Layniebug well enough that she'll be OK with smothering me with a pillow if/when the time comes.
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Re: funny rant

Postby Flightstopper » Wed Apr 17, 2013 11:43 am

QH's Paw wrote:
Flightstopper wrote:
assateague wrote:When my wife does stuff like that, my reply is "fuck you, your legs broken?". I'm serious.

Yup, always drive the point your equal. My wife gets it, so far....

And how many months or weeks has this been "working" for you? :lol: :lol: :lol:
February made 31 years for me and it is just a matter of time. At some point, she will hold the soft pink item you like as a hostage, to reign over you.


Sarcasm Q, sarcasm
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Re: funny rant

Postby DeadEye_Dan » Wed Apr 17, 2013 12:37 pm

Woody wrote:
DeadEye_Dan wrote:You guys are fags.


I went duck hunting on my first anniversary.

I bought boats and told my wife "I'm thinking about getting a boat" when in truth, it was hooked behind my truck and I was towing it home.

I told her that I was going to Alaska to hunt, 10 days before I left.
I do what I want, when I want. I don't get asked to explain myself or justify what I'm doing. And pussy NEVER gets withheld...you know why?????











Money, bitches looooove money


Fify


I suppose that is one theory, if true however, in my case she could leave tomorrow and her lifestyle wouldn't change.








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Re: funny rant

Postby jehler » Wed Apr 17, 2013 12:52 pm

My wife RARELY says no, and if she does I usually obey no questions asked.
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Re: funny rant

Postby QH's Paw » Wed Apr 17, 2013 5:23 pm

Flightstopper wrote:
QH's Paw wrote:
Flightstopper wrote:
assateague wrote:When my wife does stuff like that, my reply is "fuck you, your legs broken?". I'm serious.

Yup, always drive the point your equal. My wife gets it, so far....

And how many months or weeks has this been "working" for you? :lol: :lol: :lol:
February made 31 years for me and it is just a matter of time. At some point, she will hold the soft pink item you like as a hostage, to reign over you.


Sarcasm Q, sarcasm

Sorry dude, didn't mean to strike a nerve.
Don't take it personal, it wasn't meant that way. Just figured since you were the youngest commenting, you'd probably have the least amount of time in wedlock.
I'll try to remember, in the future, it's a touchy subject for you. ;)
It's all good. :beer: :beer:
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Re: funny rant

Postby Botiz630 » Wed Apr 17, 2013 5:25 pm

Woody wrote:
DeadEye_Dan wrote:You guys are fags.


I went duck hunting on my first anniversary.

I bought boats and told my wife "I'm thinking about getting a boat" when in truth, it was hooked behind my truck and I was towing it home.

I told her that I was going to Alaska to hunt, 10 days before I left.
I do what I want, when I want. I don't get asked to explain myself or justify what I'm doing. And pussy NEVER gets withheld...you know why?????











Money, bitches looooove money


Fify


Damn it Woody, I couldn't have done it better myself.
This is the real Botiz630
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Re: funny rant

Postby Flightstopper » Thu Apr 18, 2013 4:03 pm

QH's Paw wrote:
Flightstopper wrote:
QH's Paw wrote:
Flightstopper wrote:
assateague wrote:When my wife does stuff like that, my reply is "fuck you, your legs broken?". I'm serious.

Yup, always drive the point your equal. My wife gets it, so far....

And how many months or weeks has this been "working" for you? :lol: :lol: :lol:
February made 31 years for me and it is just a matter of time. At some point, she will hold the soft pink item you like as a hostage, to reign over you.


Sarcasm Q, sarcasm

Sorry dude, didn't mean to strike a nerve.
Don't take it personal, it wasn't meant that way. Just figured since you were the youngest commenting, you'd probably have the least amount of time in wedlock.
I'll try to remember, in the future, it's a touchy subject for you. ;)
It's all good. :beer: :beer:


I was just making sure you knew this isn't my first rodeo, I make my wife walk the line. :beer:
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