Another reason why I'm glad I'm not a Southerner...

Place for general and off topic Waterfowl talk.

Another reason why I'm glad I'm not a Southerner...

Postby DeadEye_Dan » Thu Jun 05, 2014 10:55 am

http://dailycurrant.com/2014/05/05/stud ... ing-grits/

Scientists at Stanford University released a study today showing that men who regularly eat grits are 70 percent more likely to have gay children.

The prospective cohort study, published in Nature Medicine, followed 15,000 volunteers for 30 years to determine the influence of parental diet on the development of childhood illnesses.

Although the study did find some connection between the maternal intake of sugar during pregnancy and childhood obesity, the most surprising finding was that fathers who ate grits had a much greater chance of having a gay child.

“We were shocked when we ran the data,” says Edmund Bergler, the lead researcher on the project. "But we controlled for every variable. We triple-checked every calculation. And it turned out that eating grits makes your kids gay.”

After investigating further, the scientists discovered that chemical processing of grits creates a substance called homotonin, which acts as a free radical inside a man’s testes and damages his sperm’s DNA.

That DNA damage is passed onto the child and researchers believe it is responsible for the later development of homosexuality.

“Gay people like to say that they are born that way, and they are right,” he explains. "The DNA damage that causes homosexuality happens much earlier, even before conception.

"Homosexuality is a choice. But it's the father's choice. What he eats for breakfast determines the orientation of his child."

Another scientist on the study says if parents want to minimize their risk of having a gay child they need to avoid certain foods.

“Grits have the highest homotonin levels. Its off the charts," he explains. "However foods like sweet tea, biscuits, chicken-fried steak, and cornbread also have very significant amounts.”

A spokesperson for Quaker Oats, a leading maker of instant grits said they had no comment on the study.

A representative of Cracker Barrel, a Southern restaurant chain, says that orders for grits have dropped almost 40 percent since the study was released.
Cover your ears, Darlin'
User avatar
DeadEye_Dan
WFF Supporter
 
Posts: 7164
Joined: Thu Jun 07, 2012 4:59 am
Location: The Zoo

Re: Another reason why I'm glad I'm not a Southerner...

Postby sws002 » Thu Jun 05, 2014 11:15 am

Makes sense!
To achieve success, one must possess dedication, passion and a boatload of decoys.
#LagunaMadre2k14
User avatar
sws002
 
Posts: 2577
Joined: Wed Jun 27, 2012 11:47 pm

Re: Another reason why I'm glad I'm not a Southerner...

Postby Redbeard » Thu Jun 05, 2014 12:28 pm

HAHA
gila-river wrote:Great, now the cops want to install dishwashers to. Just do your job Red and stop encroaching on our rights to replace appliances. That is not the responsibility of police.:lol:
User avatar
Redbeard
 
Posts: 20636
Joined: Wed Jun 06, 2012 10:09 pm
Location: Humboldt County

Re: Another reason why I'm glad I'm not a Southerner...

Postby GadwallGetter530 » Thu Jun 05, 2014 12:34 pm

Hudson just dropped his bowl of grits.
Who really runs the prison? The inmates or the guards?
User avatar
GadwallGetter530
 
Posts: 9758
Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2012 6:58 am
Location: Jefferson Republic

Re: Another reason why I'm glad I'm not a Southerner...

Postby Olly » Thu Jun 05, 2014 1:04 pm

grits creates a substance called homotonin


:lol: :lol:
“If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen.” ― Samuel Adams
User avatar
Olly
WFF Administrator
 
Posts: 15522
Joined: Wed May 30, 2012 9:05 am

Re: Another reason why I'm glad I'm not a Southerner...

Postby DeadEye_Dan » Thu Jun 05, 2014 1:41 pm

And all this time I was blaming it on Country Music...
Cover your ears, Darlin'
User avatar
DeadEye_Dan
WFF Supporter
 
Posts: 7164
Joined: Thu Jun 07, 2012 4:59 am
Location: The Zoo

Re: Another reason why I'm glad I'm not a Southerner...

Postby hudson » Thu Jun 05, 2014 1:58 pm

Who the fuck eats grits
User avatar
hudson
 
Posts: 3136
Joined: Mon Jun 24, 2013 7:52 pm
Location: sw louisiana

Re: Another reason why I'm glad I'm not a Southerner...

Postby hudson » Thu Jun 05, 2014 1:59 pm

Gad you stereotyping son of a bitch hahaha.I don't eat grits and never will
User avatar
hudson
 
Posts: 3136
Joined: Mon Jun 24, 2013 7:52 pm
Location: sw louisiana

Re: Another reason why I'm glad I'm not a Southerner...

Postby GadwallGetter530 » Thu Jun 05, 2014 2:01 pm

hudson wrote:Gad you stereotyping son of a bitch hahaha.I don't eat grits and never will


:lol::lol::lol:
Im sorry you must be full from all the frog asses and alligator balls you had for breakfast. Lol
Who really runs the prison? The inmates or the guards?
User avatar
GadwallGetter530
 
Posts: 9758
Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2012 6:58 am
Location: Jefferson Republic

Re: Another reason why I'm glad I'm not a Southerner...

Postby hudson » Thu Jun 05, 2014 2:04 pm

GadwallGetter530 wrote:
hudson wrote:Gad you stereotyping son of a bitch hahaha.I don't eat grits and never will


:lol::lol::lol:
Im sorry you must be full from all the frog asses and alligator balls you had for breakfast. Lol
Yap going get more tomorrow night hahaha
User avatar
hudson
 
Posts: 3136
Joined: Mon Jun 24, 2013 7:52 pm
Location: sw louisiana

Re: Another reason why I'm glad I'm not a Southerner...

Postby GadwallGetter530 » Thu Jun 05, 2014 2:06 pm

Still not hot enough here at night to get them.:(
Who really runs the prison? The inmates or the guards?
User avatar
GadwallGetter530
 
Posts: 9758
Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2012 6:58 am
Location: Jefferson Republic

Re: Another reason why I'm glad I'm not a Southerner...

Postby hudson » Thu Jun 05, 2014 2:10 pm

GadwallGetter530 wrote:Still not hot enough here at night to get them.:(
it'll happen.we pulling a all night raid from dark till sun up. Gonna have the cold beer and whiskey flyin while hand grabbing frogs on my bday!
User avatar
hudson
 
Posts: 3136
Joined: Mon Jun 24, 2013 7:52 pm
Location: sw louisiana

Re: Another reason why I'm glad I'm not a Southerner...

Postby FlintRiverFowler » Thu Jun 05, 2014 2:23 pm

Strange... The study I read said the homotonin was actually flowing down the Mississippi River out of the Great Lakes. Then when the corn in the Midwest gets irrigated with the homotonin poisoned water it absorbs into the corn and this this is where the homotonin in grits comes from.
User avatar
FlintRiverFowler
 
Posts: 6386
Joined: Wed May 30, 2012 1:08 pm
Location: Georgia

Re: Another reason why I'm glad I'm not a Southerner...

Postby Olly » Thu Jun 05, 2014 2:26 pm

I love grits. Mix up some fried bacon fat in there with some sweet butter and you've got an awesome breakfast. Won't live past 50 eating like that bit fuggit.

Also grits are really a southern thing as a whole. More of a GA, AL, SC thing.
“If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen.” ― Samuel Adams
User avatar
Olly
WFF Administrator
 
Posts: 15522
Joined: Wed May 30, 2012 9:05 am

Re: Another reason why I'm glad I'm not a Southerner...

Postby GadwallGetter530 » Thu Jun 05, 2014 2:32 pm

My brother in-law is from Huston and loves grits....... explains my nephew having no interest in hunting or fishing.:lol:
Who really runs the prison? The inmates or the guards?
User avatar
GadwallGetter530
 
Posts: 9758
Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2012 6:58 am
Location: Jefferson Republic

Re: Another reason why I'm glad I'm not a Southerner...

Postby DeadEye_Dan » Thu Jun 05, 2014 2:39 pm

FlintRiverFowler wrote:Strange... The study I read said the homotonin was actually flowing down the Mississippi River out of the Great Lakes. Then when the corn in the Midwest gets irrigated with the homotonin poisoned water it absorbs into the corn and this this is where the homotonin in grits comes from.


Close, actually the Great Lakes are pristine and that pureness contributes to the manliness of the inhabitants of the region.

The problem is when the water passes through Chicago and then the rest of Illinois that it picks up the homotonin and runs downstream to the country music listening, grits eating, queer baby having breeders in the South.
Cover your ears, Darlin'
User avatar
DeadEye_Dan
WFF Supporter
 
Posts: 7164
Joined: Thu Jun 07, 2012 4:59 am
Location: The Zoo

Re: Another reason why I'm glad I'm not a Southerner...

Postby Pintail » Thu Jun 05, 2014 2:45 pm

Faked.
Pintail
 
Posts: 461
Joined: Wed May 14, 2014 6:26 pm

Re: Another reason why I'm glad I'm not a Southerner...

Postby Redbeard » Thu Jun 05, 2014 3:41 pm

DeadEye_Dan wrote:
FlintRiverFowler wrote:Strange... The study I read said the homotonin was actually flowing down the Mississippi River out of the Great Lakes. Then when the corn in the Midwest gets irrigated with the homotonin poisoned water it absorbs into the corn and this this is where the homotonin in grits comes from.


Close, actually the Great Lakes are pristine and that pureness contributes to the manliness of the inhabitants of the region.

The problem is when the water passes through Chicago and then the rest of Illinois that it picks up the homotonin and runs downstream to the country music listening, grits eating, queer baby having breeders in the South.
then ashamed they ship all their kids to California
gila-river wrote:Great, now the cops want to install dishwashers to. Just do your job Red and stop encroaching on our rights to replace appliances. That is not the responsibility of police.:lol:
User avatar
Redbeard
 
Posts: 20636
Joined: Wed Jun 06, 2012 10:09 pm
Location: Humboldt County

Re: Another reason why I'm glad I'm not a Southerner...

Postby banknote » Thu Jun 05, 2014 4:03 pm

FlintRiverFowler wrote:Strange... The study I read said the homotonin was actually flowing down the Mississippi River out of the Great Lakes. Then when the corn in the Midwest gets irrigated with the homotonin poisoned water it absorbs into the corn and this this is where the homotonin in grits comes from.

That's what we get when we reverse the flow of a river. Blame "progress."
User avatar
banknote
 
Posts: 921
Joined: Wed Dec 26, 2012 6:02 pm
Location: Sauvie Island, Oregon

Re: Another reason why I'm glad I'm not a Southerner...

Postby DeadEye_Dan » Thu Jun 05, 2014 5:38 pm

Pintail wrote:Faked.


Really?? How else do you explain it then - country music??
Cover your ears, Darlin'
User avatar
DeadEye_Dan
WFF Supporter
 
Posts: 7164
Joined: Thu Jun 07, 2012 4:59 am
Location: The Zoo

Re: Another reason why I'm glad I'm not a Southerner...

Postby Pintail » Thu Jun 05, 2014 6:31 pm

DeadEye_Dan wrote:
Pintail wrote:Faked.


Really?? How else do you explain it then - country music??

It wouldn't surprise me.
Pintail
 
Posts: 461
Joined: Wed May 14, 2014 6:26 pm

Re: Another reason why I'm glad I'm not a Southerner...

Postby 3legged_lab » Thu Jun 05, 2014 7:01 pm

Homotonin. :lol::lol::lol:
Bootlipkiller wrote: all the mallards I killed today had boners do to my epic calling.
User avatar
3legged_lab
WFF Supporter
 
Posts: 17344
Joined: Mon Jun 04, 2012 9:19 pm
Location: OREGON

Re: Another reason why I'm glad I'm not a Southerner...

Postby Redbeard » Thu Jun 05, 2014 7:03 pm

DeadEye_Dan wrote:
Pintail wrote:Faked.


Really?? How else do you explain it then - country music??
killin me
gila-river wrote:Great, now the cops want to install dishwashers to. Just do your job Red and stop encroaching on our rights to replace appliances. That is not the responsibility of police.:lol:
User avatar
Redbeard
 
Posts: 20636
Joined: Wed Jun 06, 2012 10:09 pm
Location: Humboldt County


Return to The Blind

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 175 guests